20,000 Leagues Into My Brain

Huh? What's going on.

2010-05-13T22:14:00.002+10:00

So I haven't been here for a while. I have a good excuse, honest!

I have been flat out. Work. Monster. Uni. Running.

Work is ok, but they have never had someone of my brilliance before. So every time I look at something, I say "that's fucked". Of course the response is "can you fix it for us then o'great one". I am going to have to stop going to the 8,000 meetings I have each day, because I walk out of each one with more work.

The monster is going great. She is pretty much walking now. Still isn't a massive fan of it, but at least she is doing it. Definitely has a "why walk when I can be carried" attitude.

I have taken on two subjects at Uni this semester. It's proving to be a pain in the arse. I can't start it until about 9pm so most nights I don't bother. Then blow entire weekends trying to catch up. Not sure why I am bothering as there is no guarantee I will get anything out of it.

Running is going well. Started once I had polished of the last of the Moet at Christmas and is now starting to get serious. I have dropped some serious kilos and the pace is picking up, the gym at work is a handy training tool. I am planning on doing a half marathon in July to kick start my marathon prep for the Melbourne Marathon in October.

So I haven't been reading or commenting much elsewhere. Apologies, but I don't really even have time for twitter these days. I promise to catch up in about 2012.

Right, I'm off. Got a tax return and an assignment to do.

Moet Christmas!

2010-01-11T22:31:00.002+11:00

So I was officially redundant on the 24/12. Merry Christmas!

I had about 6 months of contract work lined up, which would have paid nicely but been a bit of a headfk.

So when I got the call at about 10am on the 24th, from a major luxury car manufacturer offering me a job, I rolled into Christmas a relaxed man with a nice big redundancy payout in the bank.

Christmas came and went through the bottom of a couple of bottles of Moet, then off to Phillip Island with some friends for a holiday and NYE. A small holiday apartment with 4 adults and 3 kids under 3 is not ideal, but a couple more bottles of Moet and 3 slabs of Boags sorted that out.

Last week was supposed to be a relaxing final holiday before kicking into the new job. Lots was planned, but the little monster got ill with a nasty fever so the week was pretty much a write-off. The only thing we did was watch Avatar at 8:30pm last Sunday night.

Work looks like it is going to be interesting, most importantly they have a REALLY IMPRESSIVE cafeteria. Now I just have to negotiate myself a company car.

The frog returns!

2009-11-30T16:51:00.002+11:00

The green frog is back, check it out at http://frogofgreen.blogspot.com/.

I got stuff and did other stuff!

2009-11-23T13:20:00.005+11:00

Whoa, big weekend just gone!

Not big like in the old days, which would have meant starting drinking Wednesday and finishing sometime Sunday night. But big in adult ways befitting the new mature me.

It started Saturday arvo. My parents were down from the country and staying with us so they could look after Sophasaurus on Saturday night. They owed me a few presents so we agreed they could buy me a new bbq. Dad and I ducked out to get one which became a saga in itself.

We went to a big department store with a specific bbq in mind. Black steel 4 burner, nothing flash just a good solid sausage blackener. While looking at the display models we noticed the 6 burner was EXACTLY the same price as the 4 burner and as bigger is always better we decided to go the 6 burner.

To cut a very long story short, after much stuffing around where they had stock, then didn't have stock and other stores wouldn't hold stock, we got a guy to say they had one and he would have it at the loading bay waiting for us. He even went so far as to tell us how the other staff were well meaning but just didn't know how to really look for stuff. So we paid our money and headed around to the loading bay.

As Dad and I stood in the bay watching our new mate load the bbq boxes onto a pallet jack, Dad said to me "looks like you are getting a stainless steel one afterall". I didn't particularly want a stainless steel bbq, but they are more expensive I wasn't going to argue. I then looked a bit closer at the box and realised that not only had they given us the stainless one, but it was also the next model up from what we brought = WIN. No wonder they have stock control issues!

I always wanted a barbie big enough to cook a person in! It is the next model up as it has the recessed wok burner, rather the raised wok burner lid.

Once we got the bbq home it was time for a quick shower before the wife I barrelled out to the Bluestone Restaurant in the city for our anniversary dinner. We started with a drink in the bar before a beautiful meal accompanied by some nice Champagne and a glass of red. Post dinner was a bar hop (to stay out of the rain) until we found a nice lounge bar for some post dinner cocktails. Finishing with a not so fun 25 min queue for a taxi home. All in all a very nice night out with a beautiful woman.

Sunday started slowly but quickly built up speed with furious bbq building. It took a couple of hours and a couple of attempts, but I finally got it together. Just in time as my BIL and SIL stopped by for a couple of hours with their two kids. They left early enough that I was able to undertake the day's most important mission - console hunting.

I decide a few weeks ago that I was going to buy either a PS3 or an Xbox. The problem was, which one do I buy? I hassled friends, family and game store clerks looking for advice and at different times was 100% committed to each console. Logic was pointing me clearly in the direction of the PS3 but my gut was telling me I would get more use out of an Xbox. Even standing in the store having traded all my PS2 stuff I was still vacillating back and forth until I finally went with the gut and got an Xbox. Now I just need to buy a Sony Bravia TV and get a free PS3.

Dinner Sunday night was a bbq on the new barbie with my parents, followed by a couple of hours playing James Bond on the Xbox. It's almost a relief to be back at work this morning.

The excruciating minutia of life

2009-11-17T11:46:00.006+11:00

Been effing busy lately, what with mo growing, job hunting and exam studying.

The mo is coming along nicely, most of you are checking http://magnumallstars.blogspot.com/ so I won't waste anymore space here on it.

Job hunting is progressing. I have missed out on a couple, one because I was selling an I.T. Manager and they were after more of an I.T. lackey. They were happy to have a manager, they just didn't want to pay for one. The other job they decided they didn't need anyone, I would not be surprised to receive a panicked call from them in the coming months.

I have a couple of other irons in the fire and there is a good chance my redundancy date will be extended or I will be able to contract for a couple of months at an exorbitant rate.

So things are happening. Slowly, but that's better than not at all.

I have done my last exam for the year, which is pleasant to get out of the way. I need to get more disciplined in my study. Each subject takes 12 weeks and has two assignments and an exam. The assignments usually cover one or two weeks of the study and the exam all 12 weeks. Typically I only do the reading required for the assignments during the 12 weeks and then the week before the exam I take 3-4 days and do all 12 weeks study. It works when I am only doing 1 subject a semester, but it's stressful and I probably don't do as well as I could.

I am going to jump to two subjects a semester next year (so I can get this bloody thing finished faster), so I will need to develop some kind of weekly study plan. The xbox I am thinking of buying may not be conducive to those plans.

So I have been busy, busy, busy. Fortunately over the last month or two I have also had time for socialising, catching up with Besso, Barnes, GuruBob, Havock and Lermontov. I have eaten at some nice restaurants including the flash Middle Brighton Baths. I have a work dinner at Donovans later this week and then a combined birthday/anniversary dinner at what looks like a nice restaurant on Saturday night (not naming it as the Good Lady Naut may read this). Finally the Good Lady Naut and I will wrap up the month with my work Christmas party at the Amora Hotel in Sydney.

All that and Sophasaurus learnt to crawl a week ago so we now can't take our eyes off her for a second.

Movember or man-date?

2009-11-01T15:03:00.001+11:00

So what to post about? Movember or the man-date with Havock and Lermontov?

Hmmm, decisions decisions.

Actually the man-date was full of "had to be there" moments and all the best bits have already been on twitter thanks to Havock and his snap happy iPhone.

I will reflect and say that it is always a please to catch up with Havock who is far enough removed from Blunty Havock to be very pleasant company while close enough to Blunty Havock to keep you laughing all night!

Lermontov is definitely an enigma and a fascinating one at that. Class that only good breeding can produce, an earthiness that comes from all-boys schools and the military, all nicely balanced with an intelligent self-awareness. Very enjoyable company and we were all far and away the best dressed people wherever we went.

So onto Movember. Today is the official start date, so we are all clean shaven for the kickoff! So for some photos and to see Big Bad Al's fantastic shirt go to http://magnumallstars.blogspot.com/ .

Any team members that haven't received an invite to be an author at the Magnum blog, drop me a line at naut023@gmail.com and I will send you an invite.

Movember Update

2009-10-28T17:17:00.002+11:00

Go here now.

Magnum commands you!

http://magnumallstars.blogspot.com/

The truth is finally out there!

2009-10-23T09:59:00.005+11:00

So as some of you already know, everyone's suspicions about me are correct and as of the 24th Dec I will officially be redundant.

It is in no way related to the GFC, it is because the business I work for has sold all its car dealerships and I my role is very dealership focussed.

Some of you may be thinking "those bastards, Naut is both talented and devilishly handsome". Well while I am both those things, I am also very comfortable with their decision and their treatment of me. 2 months is a pretty good notice period and my payout will be a very handy bunch of cash based on the NSW award which kicks the Vic awards arse! They were also very accommodating when I was facing all the recent personal dramas.

I did have a chuckle yesterday as the directors came to advise me and then had to wait over an hour for me as I was "at a meeting with a supplier". I was actually in an hour long job interview!

Anyway, at this stage my job prospects are looking good. I have had a couple of unsolicited approaches and some of the prospects look quite good. Now if I could just win the lotto ...........

Magnum P.I. wants you!

2009-10-08T13:56:00.004+11:00

I put a bit of a call out on facebook and twitter for interested parties to join a Movember team.

I can't say I was flooded with support, but there were a couple of interested parties.

As I need very little encouragement to go off on self-indulgent adventures, I have started a Movember team called The Magnum P.I. Allstars.

So I am calling on you to join the team, if you don't want to grow a mo then donate! If you already have a mo then shave the bastard off and start again, call it spring cleaning! If you can't grow a Magnum worthy mo, fear not, I am still waiting for puberty to kick in!

I am going to donate $20 to Big Bad Al (not to him personally, just to his membership if you know what I mean) if he signs on.

So join! Donate! Whatever! Just don't disappoint Magnum, no one wants to see a disappointed Magnum.

** UPDATE **

If you want to join the team (you don't have to grow a mo to be a team member, ladies I am talking to you), go here:

http://au.movember.com/register/8295

I have no morals to call my own.

2009-10-02T10:51:00.002+10:00

I have on a few occasions been described as having strong morals or been admired for my ability to stick to my morals.

This has always confounded me as I don't think I have any morals at all.

I see morals as a construct created by communities in order to protect both it's members and the structure of the community itself. If a community had no moral structure, it would have no sense of right or wrong and therefore no basis for the creation of laws. If a communities fundamental moral is the right of the individual to basic things like food, shelter and protection then that community is creating an environment that encourages membership and participation.

So you are probably thinking, what's that got to do with Naut having or not having morals? Well here's the answer.

I have imagined life without community, because while I enjoy people I have always been pretty self contained and never felt I needed them. My image of life without community pretty much reflected a post apocalyptic landscape where you pretty much lived in family groups (still kind of a community). While we would all like to be Mad Max for a day, it is pretty hard to buy doughnuts if there is no bakery and no matter how much fun being Mad Max is, you are still going to crave doughnuts one day.

So I choose to live within a community within the larger society, therefore I choose to accept it's morals. If I have an objection to how those morals are reflected in law, then there are paths to address that, that are intended to reach a result that reflects the majority of the community's views.

To conclude, I don't feel I have any morals at all, but as a community member I live within the moral boundaries determined by the community.

** Extra bonus special feature **

What if I was living in a country where the communities morals are dictated by a minority rather than a reflection of the majority? Simple, I would choose not to be a part of the community and so would base my actions on what I considered logical and suited me.

My foot hurts!

2009-08-31T16:41:00.000+10:00

Been a busy few days which ending with me doing something quite out of character and sleeping from about 2pm to 6pm last Sunday. It started with the burger dinner Thursday night, then followed up with a Red Bull fuelled assignment submission Friday night and closed out with JP’s book launch Saturday arvo/night.

None of the nights were really what I would consider late nights, but I have been a bit flat lately and sleeping poorly, so I guess it all finally caught up with me Sunday arvo.

One of the things that has been leaving me a bit flat has been a distinct lack of exercise over the last 6 weeks or so. As Havock kindly pointed out over at the cheeseburger, I have hit 100kgs thanks to a complete lack of exercise and a diet that would shame even Moko’s goats. The exercise issue is due to an injury I have picked up. I was actually started to ramp things up, doing additional running outside of footy, with a mind to running this year’s Melbourne Marathon, then started to get pain from what I thought was a bruised heel. I didn’t worry much about it until during a game of footy, while sprinting to a contest, I felt something move in my heel and then a sharp, nasty pain. I had an acute case of planter fasciitis. In layman’s terms, I had a tear in the tissue that runs from my heel to the ball of my foot and makes up the arch of your foot.

This is not the first time I have had planter fasciitis. I had a mild case a few years ago, but was able to stretch it out through a couple of long, slow runs. This time there is a tear rather than a strain and it is taking forever to heal. It’s been 6 weeks and it still feels like it is going to snap every time I move quicker than a walk.

I hate not being able to run. I have been running regularly for over 10 years now and with the way I eat it is the only way to keep my weight respectable. It is also a great way to wind down. Unlike many, I don’t listen to music when I run and I try to think as little as possible (yes that is easy for me to do), it becomes almost meditative, particularly on a long run.

Hopefully I will be able to hit the road again soon, I’ve got my eye on a little run in May 2010 called the Great Ocean Road Marathon. If I can make that and run the 42.2 in under 3.30 hrs I will never need to run another marathon.

Roses are from Nantucket

2009-08-18T13:24:00.002+10:00

I don't really get poetry.

Actually scratch that, I get it, I just don't really like it much.

I can't say I am a massive reader of poetry to make me the best judge, but I have read more than the odd 4 liner about people from Nantucket or what colour roses are.

Some battlefield poetry particularly from the first World War has a certain resonance, but all said and done I would prefer if they shared their thoughts and emotions in a simpler written format.

My dislike of poetry probably stems from my appreciation of the beauty of simplicity. To my sensibilities, something that performs it's duty completely, in the simplest way possible is inherently beautiful. Poetry seems to perform it's duty of conveying a message, using a combination of words that the author finds evokes particular emotions for them, but could be interpreted completely differently by others. If the intention is to evoke specific emotions, then poetry can be a pretty haphazard way of doing it.

I got this definition of poetry from about.com :

Poetry is an imaginative awareness of experience expressed through meaning, sound, and rhythmic language choices so as to evoke an emotional response. Poetry has been known to employ meter and rhyme, but this is by no means necessary. Poetry is an ancient form that has gone through numerous and drastic reinvention over time. The very nature of poetry as an authentic and individual mode of expression makes it nearly impossible to define.

I see the written word as a means to convey information and at times solicit an emotional response. If you want me to have an emotional response then tell me a simple story, don't string a bunch of fancy words together in some kind of rhythmic pattern and expect any emotional response other than frustration, after I've spent 20 minutes working out what you are on about.

Hmmm, might explain why I generally prefer photography over other forms of visual art.

Anyway, feel free to tell me just how wrong I am.

Tour rest day update

2009-07-14T11:20:00.002+10:00

So the Pyrenees are over and the first rest arrives.

As expected, the GC didn't change much, the only difference of note is that Contador stole a couple of seconds lead on Armstrong. It's impossible to know for sure, but Armstrong's and the team's reaction to Contador's attack seemed pretty genuine. So Contador's attack went against the team plans which Armstrong followed by not chasing him down. I would have done the same if I was Contador and if I was Armstrong I would be using his breaking of team plans to galvanise the team around me. It is going to be interesting to see how it pans out when we hit the Alps. An point of interest is Armstrong's improving fitness. I read an article by Armstrong's coach about how Lance needed to shed muscle from his upper body. He pretty much hit the targets just as the tour started, so in terms of form, the Giro is not going to be a good guide. The first two weeks of the tour could prove to be the perfect conditioning for Lance.

The only other significant event during the Pyrenees was the attempted breakaway by Cadel. He jumped onto a breakaway group and then jumped off the front of them to form his own breakaway. He was then joined by a number of other riders including Cancellara and Hincape. At Cancellara's prompting, the riders in the breakaway abused Cadel and refused to work with him until he gave up and returned to the peleton. They did this for two reasons, first of all Astana were always going to chase hard a breakaway with Cadel in it. Secondly a number of the riders in the breakaway had teammates with GC aspirations so their teams wouldn't let them support another rider gaining time on the GC.

Cadel received a lot of criticism from people for wasting energy on a stupid, doomed attack. This came from the same people that had a go at him for never attacking. Personally I think that while it had little or no chance of success, it was a great symbolic move. It showed that he is racing to win and won't accept that just because Astana are the strongest team, they will supply the race winner. Even Armstrong called the move "gutsy" http://www.foxsports.com.au/story/0,,25779408-5015775,00.html .

Many people are complaining that Cadel's team has lost him the tour. Yes they had a very poor Team Time Trial and even if they had had a trouble free run they probably still would have lost at least 1 minute. But watching the team in the mountains they have been brilliant. There have always been 1 or two guys with Cadel and they have even launched the odd attack to soften up Astana. If Cadel's team had performed like this last year, the results in Paris may have been very different.

Anyway, the race now has a couple of relatively flat days before we get into the Alps. The final week of this year's tour is supposed to be a monster week and looking at the stage profiles, the mountain top finish at Verbier on stage 15 will be critical, but some later stages with downhill finishes also offer some opportunities. The penultimate stage (20) is an HC mountain top finish coming after the Time Trial on stage 18. The tour may only just be decided by the time they start the stage into Paris.

Post stage 6 Tour update

2009-07-10T10:17:00.002+10:00

It has been interesting watching the performance of Astana in the tour so far. Tradition says that the team of the Yellow Jersey are the marshals of the peleton and are responsible for pace making until other teams self-interest propel them to the front. Deals can be made between teams saying "I'll help you with pace now but you have to help me later". But amongst all that the Yellow Jersey team are supposed to be the organising and controlling force in the peleton.

Saxo Bank have had the Yellow Jersey since the prologue, but for the most part Astana have been behaving as if they have the Jersey. Not only because Astana done their fair share of pace setting, but also because of their behaviour in the peleton. When a narrow dangerous road approaches, Astana jump on the front and ride tempo to string the peleton out and make it safer. Last night (obviously day where the tour is) when they had a simple climb with a tricky descent, again Astana hit the front and rode tempo up the climb. They weren't looking to hurt people on the climb, more to string out the peleton so they could block the road on the descent and force the peleton to descend slowly and safely. All things Saxo Bank could have done, but seem happy to leave to Astana.

This behaviour is typical of a Johan/Lance team. Very dominant and bullying when necessary to ensure their GC contenders face the minimum possible risk. It's this attention to detail and building such a strong team that won Lance 7 tours. Lance is also the ultimate team leader. If you watch the team time trial, you will notice that when Lance peeled off the front of the group he would be talking to each team member as he drifted to the back. A couple of times I noticed him pace a team mate for a few seconds, up on his toes yelling encouragement to them. I didn't see any of the other team leaders do that.

So what does all this mean for the tour? The first stage in the Pyrenees tonight is a tough one with a very high mountain top finish. The Pyrenees are generally considered a little easier than the Alps and so you wouldn't expect the race to be won or lost tonight, but foundations could be laid.

Logically, this is how the stage should go:

Astana set the pace over the early climbs and at the base of the last so that it is difficult for the other GC contenders to break away.
Saxo Bank lets them.
A pure climber with little GC hopes may get away on the early climbs and Astana will let him go, although they may try and get Kloden up the road with one of them.
Other GC contenders attack on the final climb as they need to pull back some of the time lost in the TTT.
Cancellera battles valiantly to hold onto yellow but loses time in the last 3-5 klms.
Armstrong and Contador watch all the GC contenders and just cover their attacks. Neither of them attack unless the other GC contenders are showing extreme weakness.
The majority of the GC contenders end up crossing the line together.

The one thing that may throw the cat among the pigeons is the dispute over team leadership at Astana. Armstrong has been seemingly taunting Contador in the press about his lack of leadership and how maybe the strongest rider is actually the strongest leader. He has been suggesting that Contador needs to attack this climb to take leadership of the team. He is effectively saying "hey Alberto, I have your team, if you're man enough come and get it".

Now this could be brilliant mind games by Armstrong, getting Contador worried about him and pressuring him into making rash attacks and burning energy wastefully. It would be a very Armstrong thing to do and would demonstrate how much of a master tactically he is. Of course it is also possible that the whole thing is a ruse by Armstrong and Johan to draw attention to Armstrong, confuse the opposition teams and give Contador the best chance possible. I reckon the former but would not be shocked if the latter turned out to be true.

We may well find out which tonight!

Tour de update

2009-07-08T13:20:00.004+10:00

Well the first 4 stages of this years Tour de France have been run and won.

The opening Time Trial went pretty much to script. Contador managed to pull a little time on Evans, but not a massive amount.

The first big surprise of this year's event came on stage 3 when Armstrong was used his experience and found himself in the front half of a split in the peleton. The 40 odd seconds that group was able to pull out, rocketed him up the leader board. The surprise wasn't that Armstrong was in the group, but that so many of the other GC contenders missed it. Everyone was talking about the likelyhood of a split in the crosswinds and the corner where it happened was the obvious spot, but still plenty of guys got caught out.

The Team Time Trial was a disaster for Cadel. It's not so much that his team let him down, more that his team was never constructed with the TTT in mind. They were never going to set the course on fire and when you throw in a crash and a puncture you end up with a 2 minute + loss and probably throw away any chance at overall victory. I thought both Cancellara and Armstrong did brilliant jobs pulling both their teams through.

So what now? All the talk is about whether Armstrong will work for Contador or whether they will decided team leader after the first mountain stage. I have changed my mind about 30 times, so I decided to inhabit Armstrong's mind and work out what he would do.

So if I was Armstrong I would be thinking ..........

Damn I'm good (I think that even though I am not Lance). 7 time winner, I still have the pace and showed all those idiots on stage 3 what a Grand Tour is all about! "Lance should ride for Contador" they all say. Well screw that, Lance rides for Lance and Lance knows Levi and Popo will ride for Lance as well, all Lance needs to do is ask. The others probably will too. Johan is just waiting for an opportunity to shift things my way without obviously screwing Contador, just so he can shove it up those stupid, mankini wearing Kazaks! There is no way I am riding for that bunch of commies, I 'aint even taking their paychecks so I don't owe 'em nothin'. If that poor man's Mexican wants me to support him, then he is going to have to storm the Alamo! This team is my team no matter what names are written on their jerseys. When I tell 'em to ride they will ride and when I tell 'em to bury themselves for me I better see dirt flying! Screw Astana, screw Contador and screw Johan if he doesn't jump on board the Lance express!

So that's what I think is going to happen. Lance will solicit help from at least Levi and Popo and will ride for himself. If Contador wants his assistance then he is going to have to make it obvious that not only has he got Lance well and truly beaten, but can also get the most out of the team.

Unless Astana make a massive mistake or get thrown out because one of their members gets caught doping then the winner will come from Astana. There is just too much talent there.

Mind you, this is Le Tour so anything is possible!

Blarkon has competition

2009-07-02T14:49:00.002+10:00

I was making the invite for the monster's 1st birthday party and couldn't resist creating this.

Another plate for Steve

2009-06-26T11:23:00.003+10:00

Most doctors drive BMWs, Mercs or Porches and GPs doctors drive SAABs and Volvos. Never seen a doctor in a Hiace van? Does the Rod bit refer to his name or his specialisation?

You may be thinking he is some kind of welder and is a guru with the welding rod, but there are no real indications that is the case. I passed the van a little further on and it had no signwriting to provide a clue.

Finally for those that missed it on twitter:

Roger the Dodger and Tour de Frog

2009-06-25T09:50:00.004+10:00

Well Roger finally came through with the good and I have my suit back. I must have been a big lad when I brought it, because even after alteration it still doesn't sit quite right.

The jacket has been brought in at the waist as much as it can, but it still looks to me like it needs some material out of the front of it as well. Although the front in profile looks ok. The pants now fit around the waist, but my legs and arse are still swimming in material. I don't think the cut of this suit suited me right from the start and I guess all the alterations in the world aren't going to fix that.

I will probably give myself a week to think and then take one of my new, better fitting suits to Roger to be altered. Photos will follow when I have time to get the camera out.

In other news, the start of the Tour de France is fast approaching and it could be one of the most interesting years ever. There are so many questions:

Can Carlos Sastre go back to back?
Does Armstrong still have what it takes?
The Astana team will be strong, but will having Levi, Lance and Contador all in the same team hurt them?
Will Cadel benefit from having less attention focused on him?
Menchov won the Giro, will that hurt him in the Tour?
What will the Schleck bros get up to?
Which team will be dominant on the tough climbs?
Michael Rodgers has a good team and has become a very good tour rider, can he figure highly in the final standings and maybe even win?

The make-up of the teams is making this a really tough tour for me to predict. Astana looks really strong and Armstrong has that rare ability to get the team to go above and beyond for him, but what if he doesn't end up as team leader?

No sleep in July for me.

See, I can type more than 140 characters

2009-06-22T11:12:00.002+10:00

Just a quick post to prove that I can still type things longer than 140 characters.

Uni is over for Semster 1 and I think I did enough in the exam to get at least the credit I need if not a distinction. Subject for next semester is I.T. Management and so should be a bit airy fairy and almost impossible to fail (watch me now fail it).

Football is going appallingly, we are in a new competition this season and it is a massive step up. We have also been decimated by injuries, no shows and people going overseas. We are going that bad that I have played in the seniors and I am far to old for that!

We have decided we probably won't sell the house. Dad has been drawing plans for us to put in a second toilet and move the laundry, but I am not sure I can bring myself to spend the money on that.

We have been flat out, so we have done next to no socialising and I actually fell asleep in front of the TV on Sunday arvo. I haven't done that for ages.

That's about it for the moment, except that I am picking up my old charcol pin-stripe suit from Roger the Tailor this arvo. If he has done well I will give him one of my new suits to adjust. I am going to look like a million bucks, even if I am worth about $1.36.

Roy for King of the World (Warnie is already God)

2009-06-05T12:13:00.003+10:00

The decision to send Andrew Symonds home from England resulted in a storm of discussion over at twitter. Discussion, spirited discussion. Not argument, but a good old fashion enjoyable discussion. It was a pleasure Moko, Dr Yobbo and Lobes.

The point of contention seems to be around what is a reasonable expectation of behaviour from our sporting hero's. There are a few keywords that get thrown around during these discussions and here are my views on some of them:

Role model: This is a doozy. Apparently everyone that plays professional sport has to be a role model to the kiddies. In my day, my parents were my role models and they would give me the moral framework to be able to select role models from other areas of society. Sports people could be role models, but all that was demanded of them was to perform in their chosen sport and if they provided a good off-field example then that was celebrated.

Professionalism: Being a professional sportsman means that you make your lively hood from your sport. So by extension, professionalism would refer to the standards maintained by that player to perform at a level that warrants payment. So in my view, you are acting in a professional manner if you turn up each game/training session in a condition to perform at the standards required.

Sponsorship: The big problem is that to pay sportspeople lots of money, that money has to come from somewhere and that somewhere is sponsors that want to be associated with the sport or individual. They want to be associated with winners first and foremost, but then also demand that their stable also project an appropriate image outside of the sport. You may think that is a fair request, here is a stack of cash now go out and win and also behave like this corporate robot. I don't think that's is really fair. My life is my own and I will live it how I choose. Judge my character before you sponsor me and if you don't like it or it doesn't fit your marketing plan, then keep the cash.

Media: The new catchphrase for the media is "it's in the public's interest". Just because you say something doesn't make it true. Why is it in my interest to know how many schooners Roy has put away or what Ben Cousins is doing hours before a game? The phrase is "in the public's interest" not "what the public is interested in".

So in conclusion to me sport is sport and what matters is how you perform on the field. Your life is your life and you deserve to be treated in the same manner as the rest of society. Some sportspeople respond to a life of discipline and dedication (Tom Hafey, Michael Shumacher) while others perform best when their personal life is chaotic and provides a distraction (Warnie, Keith Miller).

Sport people are people not corporate cardboard cutouts.

Now someone ask me why I don't think sportspeople should be tested for illicit substances.

Super Naut

2009-06-03T11:34:00.003+10:00

I quite liked this film as a small kid.

I may even use this to make myself a super t-shirt.

Ps. The bird is and always will be the word.

Have you heard?

2009-06-01T14:30:00.002+10:00

About the bird?

Apparently the bird is the word!

Sorry, watched the "bird is the word" Family Guy episode for the second time on the weekend. The Good Lady Naut has had the song stuck in her head and I am taking great pleasure in singing, huming or texting her to make sure it stays firmly implanted. Her last SMS, in reply to mine asking if she had heard about the bird, suggested that my life my be forfeit once I get home.

In other news, I managed over the weekend to buy a couple of suits and half a dozen shirts. The suits are Anthony Squires off the rack items, which based on David Jones's current catalogue normally go for about $1000 each and I got them for $400 each. I have been looking at suits for a few weeks now, in consultation with a suit expert that sure knows his way around a lapel. I am not sure if I should be thanking him, as I will never be able to buy a cheap polyester suit again! That said he has been very generous with his advice and I thank him for it. Now does anyone know a good tailor in Melbourne?

While I am on the topic of thanking people, a big thankyou to the real estate agent that offered me some advice when the GLN and I starting talking about selling our house. We still don't know if we will, but I feel in a better position to make the decission when the time comes, thanks to the advice of this kind gentleman.

It may seem a bit strange my thanking people without naming them, but I don't want to be responsible for them being inundated with people after free advice. I need them to be available for when I need free advice! But if they happen to read this, they will know who they are and know that I appreciate their assistance.

Well now eveybody knows that the bird is the word, I'm outta here!

An homage of sorts

2009-05-26T10:50:00.004+10:00

I have a short break between the end of my assignment and preparing for my exam, so I thought I would celebrate with a quick post.

This post is an homage to Steve and his number plate collecting apprentice Lermontov. I spotted this beauty on the way home from work. It was dark and raining, hence the crappy photo.

The car is a Toyota Hilux Dual Cab SR5 ute and the plate is PSTAGN which I assumed meant PISSED AGAIN. I couldn't really see the driver through the tinted windows, but I did catch a glimpse that made me think it was a blond woman.

The fact that they are advertising that they are performing an illegal activity suggests that they may indeed be blonde.

So to Steve, mate this one is for you!

*** UPDATE *** To international readers, "pissed" in Australia generally means drunk rather than angry.

Crappest! Post! Ever!

2009-05-14T21:39:00.005+10:00

Still stupidly busy. I am skipping footy this week to get stuck into an assignment due Friday week. If I really get into trouble I will also take Thursday/Friday off work next week to get it done. I spend so much time driving to and from work I have no time left to study during the week.

We are still discussing whether to sell the house on not. I will have about a month in June/July to prep the house for sale, but the real question is do we sell? It's a long discussion that leads round and round in circles. Here is a property I like, cheap, lots of land and being close to the Hume it is as not as far out of the city as it seems.

Just in case anyone isn't aware, I won Simon Bedak's footy tipping last week which I believe adequately demonstrates my superiority over all humanity.

Pretty crappy update for someone that has just claimed to be so fantastic, but lack of sleep and stress will do that to ya! So remember, if you think you are creepy looking, at least you are not Ben Stiller!

The film of the TV series, of the book, of the play, of the comic, of the car, of the fish, of the .....

2009-05-10T21:59:00.004+10:00

There is a fair bit of interest around the traps about the new Star Trek film, I'm not a massive fan of the series but even I am tempted to go have a look.

All this Star Trek talk got me thinking, how often has a popular TV series gotten made into a series of films that has been as or more successful as the TV series? There are plenty of examples of movies being turned into TV series, Stargate is the first one I think of, but it's harder to come up with any that were a TV series first.

I am trying, but I just can't come up with any other TV series that has done it.

In other news, I am making progress on assignment# 2 and we are debating whether to sell the house as houses around us are selling 2 days after listing.

The paradoxes of life.

2009-05-03T20:44:00.003+10:00

Well the hectic life continues with the arrival of another assignment.

I mentioned a couple of posts ago that the Good Lady Naut (GLN) has started a 12 week job helping re-establish playgroups for those effected by the bushfires. It's worthy work and she has been enjoying it, but it is also quite challenging. As part of her job her boss suggested she take a drive through both Kinglake and Marysville so she can better understand the parents she will be dealing with. She did so and came back with some unimaginable photos.

The photos showed a luna type landscape with black tree trunks sticking out and twisted, mangled rubble that was once houses. One photo looks down through the blackened trees onto Marysville which now consists of neatly laided out piles of rubble. Nasty stuff.

In the midst of this we have been talking about moving a little further to Melb's north, getting a few acres and building a house. It's all very conceptual at the moment, but on Saturday we jumped in the car and took a drive to see what's around. The areas we are looking are all near Kinglake/Whittlesea so we ended up driving through Kinglake to Whittlesea. Seeing what I saw in the photos for real had just as big an impact. We made sure we stopped at a couple of places in Kinglake and spent some cash to help out the local community.

On the way back we detoured via a friend's place in the area that I knew had been destroyed. When we arrived we found my friend, his partner and baby daughter in a caravan parked out the front. They are living with his parents during the week, then weekends in the caravan. They left home on Black Saturday about 20 mins before their house went up. Some of their neighbours stayed and saved their houses and some stayed and died. They looked tired and you could see an air of sadness behind their eyes. The paradox is that in a couple of years time when they have built their new house, they will be in the best position they have ever been in.

Life is a funny thing sometimes.

A revolutionary new security system.

2009-04-29T10:33:00.003+10:00

After alerting you all to the wonder that is Dolph Lundgren previously, I have an update from the always alert James Phelan.

Check this link out. Here is a link to the actual Daily Mail article.

For those of you to slack to click the link, the essence of the story is that some guys robbing a house were scared off after they spotted a family photo containing Dolph. The obvious conclusion then is that Dolph is so tough even his photo is scary!

With this startling revelation in mind, I think I will get a t-shirt made up with a picture of Dolph on it and then I can walk the mean streets feeling safe.

Dolph, making the world a safer place!

A priviledged peek into my record collection.

2009-04-27T15:34:00.004+10:00

Yankeedog and Abe regularly provide a peek into their musical tastes, so I thought it was about time I did the same.

As I like to be a man of mystery, today I will only be introducing you to one of the albums I own. I first came across this album through the track below, that was getting regular play on 3RRR. I was discussing it with a mate and he recommended the whole album.

The album is 12 Golden Country Greats by Ween. There are only 10 tracks on the album.

The track list includes:

Japanese Cowboy

Mister Richard Smoker

Help me scrape the mucus off my brain

Fluffy (Chaz tribute song I believe)

It also includes the following, which is what lead me to the album in the first place:

WARNING: Contains offensive language and adult concepts

Too busy, must Twitter.

2009-04-23T08:47:00.002+10:00

I was planning to stay well clear of Twitter, I mean who wants to know what I had for breakfast (Nutrigrain Ironman food) and what my highest score on Flight Control is (60 I only downloaded it last night). But I have relented and joined for two reasons.

I wanted to comment on other's posts which is how I wound up on jspace in the first place.
I am finding it really hard to fit in blogging with work, baby, football and study so a shorter form is a little easier for me.

Things are particularly busy at the moment as the Good Lady Naut (GLN) as a 12 week, 30 hours a week contract to run playgroups in the bushfire affected areas. The organisation she is working for got short term funding to do this and at the end of the 12 weeks they funding is cut off. So the GLN and co-workers have been thrown in with very little organisation and are having to make the best of it, it's a tough job.

On the days the GLN works, either my parents look after Sophasaurus at our house or I have to get up extra early and run her over to the GLN's parents place. I hate getting up extra early!

So the next 12 weeks are going to be pretty full on here on the submarine, but all the GLN's hard work combined with the Ruddbucks should make it all worth while.

A spoonful of evil

2009-04-17T13:36:00.003+10:00

I enjoy being evil.

Not takeover the world type evil or commit genocide type evil, not even destroy another's life type evil.

It's more of an evil that effects others in small insideous ways.

An example would be when I am parked in a large busy carpark, I like to walk back to my car making it obvious I am leaving. Once I have a car following me I head up a lane about 2 lanes over from where I am parked. When level with my car, I cut through the 2 lanes of parked cars leaving the car following me with no chance of catching back up and taking my parking spot. Cue manically laughter the whole way out of the carpark.

Anyone else got any simple methods for me to express my evility?

Holiday Planning

2009-04-16T15:50:00.002+10:00

I have found my next holiday destination.

The Hotel Costa Verde in sunny Costa Rica.

I plan to stay in the 727 fuselage apartment made from the fuselage of a 1965 Beoing 727 and dine in the El Avion Restuarant made from an ex-CIA Iran-Contra scandal C-123.

The most amazing thing is that they brought the C-123 for only $3,000 (I assume US$s). I would happily fork out that for a C-123, even if it had been abandoned for 15+ years.

How cool a dog house in the back yard would that make!!!

Yayyyyyy! I think I am finished.

2009-04-14T15:55:00.004+10:00

Finished my assignment and it sucked.

Anyone out there an electical engineer, because I feel like one now.

It's interesting to know binary algebra, clocked logic circuits, coding in machine code, etc. But it is not that interesting that you really want to take holidays to learn it.

It's funny, the last subject I did was on programming and it was a breeze. I did the first assignment for that subject in about 6 hours and got 100% for it. I got an HD overall for that subject. Whereas this time I have everything crossed I get at least 75% for this assignment so I have a chance at getting a credit overall (I suck at exams).

Now to check it over for stupid mistakes.

Ps. Abe, the subject is Computer architecture and networks, I am hoping the networks bit is easier because computer architecture goes from easy to WTF in a very short period of time.

Pps. I got all my trenches dug and read a revised (but not edited) version of JP's book. Seeing as I have the assignment finished with a day to spare, I can send JP my uneducated review tomorrow and get to work demolising what's left of my easter eggs.

You want me to do what now???

2009-04-07T13:50:00.003+10:00

I am insanely busy at the moment.

I am so busy that I had the opportunity to be the first person to read JP's new book, but only got a short way in before it left and came back from it's first edit. I am pissed with myself on this one.

I am so busy that I am 1 and a 1/2 weeks into my Master's subject and week 6 has just started.

I am so busy that I have taken an extra 4 days leave around Easter so that I can catch up.

My jobs for my Easter are, in order of priority:

Start and complete assignment 1 for my Master's subject
Catch up or even get ahead of my Master's work
Complete trenches under concrete paths so that we can get the plumber in
Visit parents in country
Eat my way through the mountain of chocolate I am sure to receive for Easter

That mightn't sound like much, but I will be lucky if I get through that lot!

So if, in the next week I don't post here much or comment at your place, don't be insulted, I am just too busy and you aren't important enough ;-)

For doanli

2009-04-03T10:26:00.003+11:00

Probably too late but anyway.

iNautilus

2009-04-02T13:04:00.002+11:00

My brand, spanking new iPhone arrived today.

I spent quite a bit of time deciding what phone to get. I have just saved the company about $8k on their mobile bill, so they were happy for me to pretty much get whatever I wanted.

I didn't want to go down the Blackberry path again because I don't really use my phone for email much and I have a personal grudge against the Windows Mobile OS. Stupid, freezing, piece'o crap OS that it is. I also hate Microsoft ActiveSync, stupid thing keeps crashing and making me re-install it.

I like Nokias but would only get one if I was looking for a basic, makes calls type phone.

I was really interested in the HTC Dream running the Google Android OS. I met a guy with one the other day and it looks pretty good. Problem is Optus are offering it but Telstra don't seem to be at the moment. So that means I would have had to buy one from overseas off the 'net. Bit risky for a work purchase.

So that left the iPhone. My I.T. colleague in Sydney has one and absolutely loves it. He brought his himself off the 'net as a cracked unit from the States. I don't own an iPod so I figured I might as well go for it.

Now that I have it I am pretty impressed. It is easy to use and iTunes is as well. There is an impressive range of both free and low cost apps available and they can do some impressive things. There is an app that can turn you iPhone into a level if you are a carpenter or a torch if you are caught in the dark.

My only criticism would be that it is locked down pretty tight, but there is always ways and means around that.

So I will have to download one of the blogging apps and you might start to see posts direct from the iPhone.

I am officially going bananas

2009-03-31T14:00:00.005+11:00

I never got into the whole musical ring tone thing, when my phone rings it sounds like a phone ringing.

Well, actually, I hadn't got into it until now.

This is my new ring tone.

It starts at the "one banana" bit.

Better busy than dead, but I do feel like a re-animated zombie

2009-03-30T12:03:00.003+11:00

I have been out of control busy lately. I have my Masters to do, little monster to help look after, football training and games, more plumbing to dig up and I am porting all our work ISDN phone services to a new telco which means lots of out of hours work.

This weekend was supposed to be a bit of a catchup weekend. Do some study and start an assignment, play a football practice match and knock off the last of the digging. This is how it finished up:

Friday Night

Got picked by the Good Lady Naut (GLN) from work so we could go to a friend of hers surprise birthday drinks. He gets a couple of grand prix tickets for his birthday and invites me to go with him on Sunday.
Home and in bed by midnight, I drove so I wouldn't be hungover while playing football (too old to play hungover these days. I once played a practice match so hungover that I stopped to vomit twice on the way to the game, we played 6 quarters and I didn't get a touch until the last quarter).

Saturday

Get up and go play footy. Hot in the sun and the ground was rock hard so I was pretty knackered by the end of the game. Left shin/calf badly swollen from being kicked.
Home, shower, feed the monster and then get the GLN to drop me at the train station.
Train to the city then to The Squires Loft with 3 mates for dinner to wet my mate's babie's head. Pub crawled from there to the Waterside Hotel and succeeded in not only wetting the babie's head, but virtually drowning ourselves in alcohol as well.
Taxi home, lots of water then bed by 3am.

Sunday

Up by 8am with surprisingly no hangover. Feed the monster then jog to the train station complete with now badly bruised shin/calf and plenty of other aches from playing football on a rock hard ground.
Train then tram to the track and meet my mate that has the ticket.
Spend the day walking around the track introducing my mate to the world of F1 and Australian motorsport.
Spend 4 hours standing in the same spot to, first of all reserve the spot, then watch the race.
7pm race is over and having not sat down since 11am, it feels like everything below my shoulders is only connected to me by pain receptors. As pain receptors don't actually control muscles, I very nearly fall in a heap while walking down the hill we watched the race from.
Another tram and train ride followed by a 20 min walk and I get home about 8pm.
In severe pain now and all my muscles are starting to seize if I stop moving for even a minute, but domestic duties have no sympathy for the weary.
In bed, lights out at 11pm, asleep by 11:00:01 pm.

So of all the catchup I had planned, playing in the football practice match was the only thing I achieved.

Oh well, better busy than dead.

The softer side of Nautilus

2009-03-26T13:43:00.004+11:00

I am not known as an emotional or sensistive person. I don't have a feminine side and am only in touch with my inner child when it comes causing trouble or displaying a childish response to emotional events.

But even a big, brute of a man like me, needs to show a softer side from time to time. So with that in mind, check out this new trailer for Where the Wild Things Are which will be released later in the year:

http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/wherethewildthingsare/

I am looking forward to this film, not just because I read the book as a kid, but also because a lot of it was filmed in Australia and Angus Sampson is in it.

Now that I have showed my softer side, here is a photo of me strangling a bear one handed (btw the pint is mine not the bears).

The Internet Filter is a joke.

2009-03-24T10:32:00.003+11:00

I am not a particularly political person. I believe our political parties have both become so conservative that there is only a minimal difference between them. More than anything I just find politics boring.

That said, as an I.T. professional, I find the whole Internet filter issue extremely frustrating. Forget the potential for political censorship and a reduction of freedom of liberties. I just plain cannot see how it can work effectively!

We filter Internet usage at my place of employment. We maintain a blacklist and download updates to it from various sources. There is also the ability to block sites based on keywords. The problem is that as soon as a blacklist is saved it is out of date and keywords can give false positives, after all ass can mean a donkey type animal. It is easy to move a website to a new address and substitute offensive words with similar in-offensive words. Then there is the software that will allow you to bypass the filter all-together.

I imagine that most of the very illegal stuff done over the web is not website based. Websites can be tracked after all. Most of it would be peer-to-peer stuff that would make it a whole lot harder to find and how does an internet filter control what goes on in a messaging or chat type environment?

It's enough to make you think the Government is more interested in the potential to control Internet access than it is about protecting it's citizens.

The only effective path for controlling Internet access we have here at work, is to advise everyone of the rules and that we will be reviewing the usage logs. If you step outside the rules then we have grounds to instantly dismiss you.

Flinthart has had a number of posts on this subject and his latest informs us that Stephen Conroy (Communications Minister) will be on the ABC's show Q&A this Friday. I want to echo Flinthart's call for you to submit a question to the show on this topic, just follow this link.

Here's the question I submitted:

Why are we wasting money on an Internet filter that will be completely ineffective? Why not direct that funding to increase Police resources to identify and prosecute those that post or access illegal material on the web?

Terror Australis - Stupid people stay away

2009-03-20T10:08:00.003+11:00

Yesterday, I sent an email to a friend listing all the things he can do on his holiday to Port Douglas. I finished the email by saying "The area is well worth the visit and you will enjoy provided you don’t get eaten by a shark or croc, stung by a jellyfish or bitten by a snake or catch dengue fever".

Whether you are a local or a foreign devil, we all know that Australia flora and funa is actively trying to kill you all the time. Redbacks don't just sit in their web, they hide under the toilet seat to launch a surprise attack. The croc or shark you don't see is the one that gets you. Snakes hide in the long grass where you can't see 'em and Dropbears are perfectly camouflaged by the foliage overhead.

Knowing this just makes the Logan man bitten by a Black snake seem really dumb! He figured an injured snake would know he was just trying to help!!! I reckon a couple of stubbies might have been involved in this incident.

Of course, reading this incident brought back memories of the truly moronic Darwin man that decided to collect a King Brown snake for the local pubs fish tank. He not only got bitten catching the snake, but he then put his hand back in the bag with the snake and got bitten several more times. He ended up in a coma for 6 weeks and lost his arm, but that isn't the funny part of the story (although it is pretty funny). The funny part is while they raced to the hospital, his mate administered first aid to keep him awake by pouring beer on him. Probably a good idea as these guys are soooo dumb, I bet he was driving!

I was looking (unsuccessfully) for the original newspaper article, complete with photo of the one armed guy in a wheelchair, when I discovered this site. The site contains 6 snake myths that have fooled gullible people and was astounded to find I hadn't really heard of any of them.

Snake Myths that have fooled gullible people

The Death Adder has a sting in its tail. Being amongst the most poisoness snakes in the world wasn't enough?
Snakes hypnotise their prey. How do they hold the watch without hands?
Tiger Snakes chase people. You should run uphill to escape them. If they chase you, why would running uphill help?
Snakes milk cows. WTF!!!!
If you kill one of a pair of Tiger Snakes, its mate will hunt you down to take its revenge. Wasn't that the plot for one of the Jaws films?
In Australia, there is a Hoop Snake that takes its tail in its mouth and then goes bowling merrily along. I think I saw this on an episode of the Simpsons.

So my conclusion after all this is, if you are stupid, stay the hell away from Australia.

*Note: I just found out that Terror Australis is the name of the 501st Legion of Star Wars costume enthusiasts. http://501tag.com/newlowsite/home.html

Scaremongering and maybe Howard was right!!!

2009-03-18T15:44:00.003+11:00

As most of you know, I work in the wonderful world of I.T.

As part of my job, I am sometimes required to cleanup a virus effected pc and on a couple of occasions we have had a virus spread throughout our network. Not a big deal as most virus's are more concerned with propagating themselves or performing denial of service attacks on people like Microsoft, than doing any lasting damage to your pc.

Nevertheless, I still get, at a rate of about 1 per week, emails from staff that they have received warning about the latest and greatest virus that is on the loose. I usually spend about 3 seconds on google and then reply to them with a link to the snopes page confirming it is a hoax.

Sometimes the hoaxes are not even virus related, such as the one I received today which follows:

Subject: MOBILE PHONES - Do Not Call Register!

This is for Australian phone numbers!

REMEMBER: Mobile Phone Numbers Go Public next month.

REMINDER all mobile phone numbers are being released to telemarketing companies and you will start to receive sale calls.

YOU WILL BE CHARGED FOR THESE CALLS

Below is a link where you can enter your phone numbers online to put an end to telemarketing calls
https://www.donotcall.gov.au/

While the donotcall register is a legit gov website, the rest of the email is just scaremongering.

This is all no big deal when the emails are sent to me. It's a couple of seconds out of my life and I am happy to set people straight. The problem is when people forward these to group email addresses. I then have to deal with the panicky fallout.

So next time you receive a virus warning email, jump on google and search the subject or keywords with the word "hoax" and see what comes up. I reckon the little Johnny Howard said it best, "be alert, not alarmed".

Tree Change - pointless post

2009-03-17T11:41:00.010+11:00

My parents, when they are not travelling the continent or the globe, reside on an 150 acre country property. Yep, they did the tree change thing.

It is a pretty simple life. The house is basically a flashy shed. Power comes from solar, wind generator and petrol generator, water from tanks, hot water from solar and pipes in the combustion heater and there is a septic tank for sewerage.

The view is pretty spectacular as they are on the crest of a North facing hill will untouched Crown Land on the opposite hill. The valley between runs West towards the Hume Highway and you can see the see the lights of Shepparton (the only part of Shepparton you want to see) in the distance.

The view of the valley is framed by a large tree surrounded by huge rocks with a large split rock below it on the slope into the valley.

The tree is so spectacular that my Aunt was moved to paint it for my parents, unfortunately I don't have a picture of the painting.

Sadly during a massive storm last year, my Dad was stunned to watch a bolt of lightening strike the tree and split it down the middle. The tree is now dead.

There is no real point to this post. Moko's post about the storms in Brisbane just reminded me of the tree so I thought I would post some photos of the Old's place. I love the browns of the Australian countryside, if it is too green it feels a bit strange (unless it is a Green Frog).

Dolph, he's no Warnie

2009-03-16T13:12:00.004+11:00

During a short comment conversation with Lobes over at the burger, he brought up Dolph Lundren. Knowing Lobe's vast knowledge of most things and that he has been to Sweden, I thought I should do a little research at Dolph's IMDb page.

I was astounded!!!

Here is a short list of Dolph's more impressive achievements:

Master's degree in Chemical Engineering

Awarded Fulbright Scholarship to MIT

Third degree black belt in Kyokushinkai Karate

Has been both Australian and European Heavyweight Karate Champion

Was Grace Jones's bodyguard and lived with her for 4 years (scary)

Plays the drums (of course)

Speaks three languages and bits and pieces of at least two more

Served in the Swedish Marines

Was photographed at the Factory by Warhol

Worked as a bouncer in New York with Chazz Palminteri

Is responsible for the quote I use most often in my life. "My problem is that people get intimidated by someone big and beautiful like me. They hate to think I can be smart as well."
He looks like a gigantic blond knob

While he is no Warnie, he hasn't done too badly for a zombie!

People are weird

2009-03-12T12:03:00.003+11:00

You have all heard me spruik the ego boosting benefits of google analytics.

Well there is another benefit and that is the ability to see the keywords people have used in search engines to stumble across your blog.

So far I have had 13 referrals from google using the following keywords:

10 man ration pack

20,000 leagues saturday night live video

exploding rabbits - Proud of this one

female barber shaving heads - Strangely proud of this one too

is mernda safe to live in with fire threats

kryal castle ballarat food - Embarrassed to be associated in any way with Ballarat

mafia barber - Pretty proud of this one, but also slightly scared it may get me killed

marcus ambrose koala

marcus ambrose nascar earnings

mernda dorren

safe to live mernda

shane warne the musical - Should have been shane warne the god

the words begest fesh .com - What the hell was this person looking for and were they disappointed?

I might have to take the tip from Paul Boylan back in the JS days and start mentioning Lesbian Pantomime horses.

I have 12 blisters and a sunburnt arse crack

2009-03-10T12:14:00.008+11:00

Last weekend was the Labour Day long weekend here in Victoria.

Rather than do what most sensible people were doing and spend the weekend in a beer garden somewhere, here is what I was doing.

That's right, I dug a hole!

Our house has had plumbing problems since the day we moved in. We have already had a section of broken sewer pipe replaced, but I am sick of smelling the contents of the toilet every time I use the bathroom sink. It can make brushing your teeth reasonably unpleasant.

After much discussion with our plumber friend, we have made the big decision to replace all our pipes and re-route the sewer pipe out from under part of the house slab. The quote from the plumber was scary, but it virtually halved when I said I would dig up all the sewer pipes. Hence the hole.

I knew where roughly where the sewer pipe was from where the plumber had dug up the section he had replaced last time. So I dug in line with his previous trench and as his trench was chest deep on him, I dug until my trench was chest deep on me. After approximately 8 hours of digging and chipping through rock hard dry clay, when widening the trench I finally found the pipe. The following is a picture of me pointing to the pipe.

So not only did I dig on the wrong line, I also dug about 3 feet too deep. BUGGER!

After about 13 hours digging, this is what I finished up with.

Now I just have to dig under the path, down the side of the house and then back under the path to the side of the house.

I already have 12 blisters and a sunburt arse crack, how do you reckon next weekend is going to go?

DVD Gold!!!

2009-03-02T10:55:00.003+11:00

Most of you will be old hands at searching the bargin bins at book stores, video stores, record stores, etc. Well on the weekend I was searching through the $2 DVD bins out the front of the newsagents when I struck gold! Hidden in amongst films starring David Hasselhoff and Billy Baldwin was this little beauty:

Project Grizzly is a documentary about Troy James Hurtubise's attempt to make and test a suit of armour capable of withstanding attack from a Grizzly Bear.

Troy is a Canadian inventor/scrap yard owner/martial artist that gets aboot (he is Canadian) the bush wearing a red beret, jackets with lots of tassells, a bowie knife on his hip and a throwing knife on a bandolier (because real mountain men know you are better off with a knife than a gun). Incidently, the bit where Troy discusses his reasons for carrying knives shows his true warrior mindset, but doesn't explain the beret.

He is an amazing man that has not only an incredibly inventive mind and altheletic physic, but also understands the importance of striking a pose and shaving lines into the side of your mullet 90's rapper style. I think I offically have a man crush!

Troy also understands the importance of riggerous testing and these make up some of the most education aspects of the documentary. I have included the following example.

Being the moden man he is, Troy has his own website here which I can see myself spending many hours on.

So if you are hunting through the bargin DVD bins and see a copy of Project Grizzly at only $2, buy it, you won't regret it.

ps. Today's Green Frog is brought was brought to you by The Good Lady Naut.

It's an army life for me!

2009-02-27T10:44:00.002+11:00

Well, I think I am going to join the Army.

No, I have not lost my job, mind or about 12 years off my age.

There is a very good reason for this decision.

I JUST TASTED THE CHOCOLATE DRINK POWDER THE ARMY SUPPLY IN RATION PACKS.

It was good and there is enough in the sachets for 2 hot chocolates.

I might have to try the potato with onion powder for lunch and see if that changes my mind. How do you powder onion?

Ye Olde Crappe Castleeeee

2009-02-24T19:16:00.002+11:00

Seeing Mr Stu's post on his family trip to a castle somewhere, got me thinking of Victoria's very own medieval (1970's fashion was evil anyway) castle, Kryal Castle.

Kryal Castle is situated on the highway into Ballarat, or as I prefer to think about it, the highway OUT of Ballarat.

Ballarat is a large country North West of Melbourne and is famous as a Gold Rush town and the site of the Eureka Stockade. My grandparents used to live in a place called Bunninyong which is just outside Ballarat, although with today's urban sprawl is practically a suburb of Ballarat. Having been dragged up there thousands of weekends and seen it snow more times than be over 30 degrees, I can confidently suggest that the name Ballarat is Aboriginal for Cold as f$%k!

Ballarat is somewhat of a tourist town with, aside from Kryal Castle, a mock up of the Eureka Stockade (apparently a new Eureka Centre as well, but that wasn't there in my day), a replica gold rush town called Sovereign Hill and a dinosaur park called Dinosaur World.

As we were there so often, I have been to every tourist attraction in the area about a half a dozen times and there is a common theme to them all, they are kind of second rate. Actually that is not quite fair, Sovereign Hill used to be second rate but over the years it has evolved to be pretty good by Australian standards.

Getting back to Kryal Castle, it was built in 1972 by Keith Ryal, is the third largest castle in the Southern Hemisphere and is based on a 14th century castle. The quality of it's website gives a fair indication of the standard of the attraction. Interestingly I found the following in small print in the "Night Life" section of their website:

"Kryal Castle is the ultimate destination for any sized function or event. There are many internal events such as Cocktails in the Graveyard theatre restaurant, Medieval Murder Mysterys, And many more.. Bookings are however essential. Kryal Castle, is also a great destination for any large scale event, with patron capacity of 5000 and fully licensed / catering areas available until as early as 4am for any type of large scale event. "

Hmmm, you are in trouble when your website contradicts itself. Is it the ultimate or just great? If it is the ultimate for any sized function or event then why is there a 5000 patron capacity? What if I want 50,000 patrons?

Strangely enough it is best known in recent times as a rave venue. Let's face it, in 1356 the raves were epic, so recreating them at Kryal Castle just makes sense!

I actually have fond memories of my visits there, but I think it was one of those places that work until you are about 11 years old and the "magic" starts to fade.

Interestingly, during my research for this I found out that Kryal Castle is up for sale! I was going to suggest everyone pitching it, but seeing as we can't sail Saddam's boat there, I don't see the point.

So for your next work team building exercise, I strongly recommend Kryal Castle!

Church of Shane Warne update

2009-02-23T12:21:00.001+11:00

Exciting news, the Church now has a Facebook group.

I have no idea how to post links to Facebook groups, so just log into Facebook and search The Church of Shane Warne.

Birthday Dinner

2009-02-23T08:53:00.007+11:00

It was the Good Lady Naut's (TGLN) birthday on Saturday and we had a few friends over Saturday night to celebrate. TGLN decided she didn't want me to cook, which I of course viewed as a criticism of my cooking abilities, so dinner was a mixture of salad and trays of mixed meats from the local kabab shop.

It all looked and smelt pretty tasty. I, of course, am far too hardcore for that kind of wussy food and so courtesy of the Australian Defense Force by way of James Phelan, here is my dinner.

If you look closely on the left hand side of the above photo, you will notice the dog is also hardcore and waiting anxiously for any scraps.

I actually didn't eat this for dinner, not because I wimped out, but because once I opened it the instructions were HUGE and everyone knows real men don't read instructions.

I think we need an urgent investigation into the packaging and presentation of the MREs supplied to our soldiers. This is the kind of thing that gets people killed.

Revelations

2009-02-20T09:51:00.005+11:00

I try to avoid discussing religion and politics here as all the discussion in the world isn't going to change my views and I couldn't give a damn about changing yours. But I am going to make an exception today and discuss religion.

I am an atheist. I am not undecided or just can't be bothered thinking about it. I have given it some thought and have come to the conclusion there is no God, or so I thought.

Last night I had a revelation. One that in fairness, I must admit that Lermontov had attempted, a couple times, to reveal to me.

That revelation was, that there is a God and he walks the earth in the form of:

SHANE KEITH WARNE

The revelation hit me like a lightening bolt. Just like it hits Jake when he "sees the light" in The Blues Brothers. I too would have gone cartwheeling down the aisle, but as I was sitting in the Dress Circle at the Athenaeum Theatre at the time, it would have been a nasty drop if I didn't pull up in time.

Just in case you hadn't worked it out yet, this life changing moment occurred during a performance of Shane Warne the Musical or as I now think of it, Church.

As the musical provides a chronological journey through the key points of Warnie's life, the biblical nature of his existence is clearly evident. Some examples:

While there has been no suggestion Warnie was an immaculate conception, his Mum is pretty well known but you never hear about his Dad.
The Indian bookie John clearly saw him as a prophet and paid $5,000 to hear his word.
You have heard of the loaves and the fishes, well Warnie brought Baked Beans and Toasted Ham and Cheese sangers to the Sub-Continent.
How about Moses and God burning a bush. Warnie has burnt a ton of bushes, tobacco bushes to be exact, after they had been harvested, processed and turning into ciggies.
Jesus brought comfort to strangers, Warnie comforted plenty of strange women.
Most religious leaders have wacky outfits, I give you Umpire, ODI and Twenty20 uniforms.
12 Apostles and 12 players in a cricket team, co-incidence?
Jesus sacrificed his life for our sins, Warnie sacrificed the Captaincy for his sins.

So in this time of darkness, having just lost to the dirty 'boks at home and facing another lost to them on Tour, our thoughts turn to the impending Ashes. A plague of locusts, raining toads and 40 days/nights of rain (sound familiar Queenslanders) is but an inconvenience when compared with the horror of losing the Ashes.

Well fear not people, as Jesus rose from the dead, so to will Warnie awake from retirement to strike down the evil empire that is England and make Pietersen his bunny.

So people, rise up so that you can bow down again in the glory of Warnie.

I will leave you with one final piece of evidence of Warnies divinity. In the religious world much is made of miracles, but the evidence of a miracle is rarely conclusive. Well the following is video evidence of what can only be described as a divine miracle and one that Warnie performed on 708 test occassions and 293 ODI occassions.

Lermontov and Therbs a priesthood awaits in the Church of Warne, just got to get Pope Benaud to sign it off.

Praise the Warne!

Warnie!!!

2009-02-19T09:18:00.002+11:00

Thanks to the Good Lady Naut's sister, we are off to see Shane Warne the Musical tonight.

I have a history with musicals. My parents love them and used to take the family to every major one that came out. Cats was a good perve, but Les Mis was nearly the death of me. After Les Mis I did a deal with my parents, they could save money by not buying me a ticket to future musicals, but they had to buy me the largest block of chocolate available in the supermarket.

The deal was a win win and everyone was happy.

That said, I am quite looking forward to seeing the show tonight. It should be a bit of fun even with all that singing and dancing crap.

Little Debbie Koala, not a friend of the frog

2009-02-18T11:06:00.004+11:00

Being the sensistive, perceptive individual that I am, I have sensed that some of you are not fans of the Green Frog.

Well folks it could be worse. Check out what Marcus Ambrose and his Nascar sponsor Little Debbie have unleashed on the world.

What can I say, luv the frog!

Build me a menu.

2009-02-16T22:25:00.003+11:00

Ok, I need the help of the culinary geniuses that hang out around here.

I am going to cook for 8-10 on Sat night and I need you to build me a menu that is both easy to make, cheap and will make look like an Iron Chef.

Normally I would fill the guests full of booze before dinner and then serve up baked beans on toast, but nearly everyone will be driving and/or have babies to mind, so the missus and I may be the only pissed ones.

Oh, and the only acceptable seafood is Calamari. I don't usually edit comments but any vegan suggestions will be deleted. If something hasn't died, it's not a meal.

So help me out, otherwise it is going to be Indian or Thai takeaway.

Monday musings

2009-02-16T09:50:00.002+11:00

They say the pen is mightier than the sword and I guess I agree with that. After all the pen can rally 100 more swords to your side and it can be reasonably assumed that 100 swords will usually beat 1 sword.

They also say that a picture tells 1000 words and while I don't know the ratio of words:pen, in this modern age of digital cameras you can take and print a photo far faster than you can write 1000 words. Therefore logically the camera is mightier than the pen.

Following this reasoning, video/film would be mightier than the camera, but in my opinion it isn't. You see, both writing and photos leave large areas for the imagination to fill. When reading you can put mental pictures to the text and when looking at a photo you can speculate as to the picture's subject's story. Video/film can give both the images and story which instead of making it more powerful, actually takes something away from it by reducing the opportunity for imaginative thought.

Does this make http://frogofgreen.blogspot.com the most powerful thing in the world?

The ultimate betrayal

2009-02-15T21:37:00.002+11:00

I am sitting here watching the cricket and little Sophasaurus.

As is often the case, my mind wanders to the future of my little monster. Will she be the President (we will be a Republic by then sorry Havock), a Policewoman, a Vet or even a serial killer? If she was a serial killer, could I still love her? Yep, probably. So what could she do that would shatter my love for her?

Then it came to me.

The only thing that could break the extraordinary father/daughter bond.

Something that could drive a wedge larger than the pyramids of Giza, between us.

Something worse than supporting Collingwood.

Worse than becoming a Vegan or a nun.

Worse even than dating an English bloke.

She could barrack for the Kiwis in the cricket.

Could I turn to the dark side, sales?

2009-02-13T23:32:00.004+11:00

I recently got offered an opportunity to take on an account management type role at one of our suppliers. It would be potentially more money, would involve a manageable amount of travel, would be relatively easy as it is more relationship building than technical stuff.

The problem is that at the end of the day it is a sales role. I think I would have an advantage due to my technical skill as customers will see me as a value add to their business and so will take my recommendations on purchases more seriously.

There are two major downsides that are concerning me:

If I resign I may miss out on a potentially substantial redundancy sometime in the near future.
In this economic climate, do I want to take a risk to earn more when a chunk of those earnings will come from commission?

On the plus side it would give me an excuse to replace my car and I have my eye on a 2004 Subaru Liberty GT Wagon.

Hmmm, better get the input of the Good Lady Naut on this one.

Frog of Green

2009-02-13T14:22:00.004+11:00

Click me Green Frog.

Meeting Frog

2009-02-13T12:34:00.002+11:00

Green Frog

2009-02-12T14:39:00.001+11:00

I can't think of a title.

2009-02-11T11:33:00.002+11:00

Ok, this is my last post on the fires for a while.

I had written a big, long post on it, but to be frank it was self-indulgent and irrelevant so I scrapped it.

I will say though to all the pissed dickheads that run around wearing an Aussie flag as a cape and abusing people, take a good hard look around. The volunteers serving their and other's communities, neighbours helping neighbours and joe/jane citizen helping people they have never met are displaying the true Aussie spirit. Get in there, help someone out and give it a go. It's not about symbols and noise, it is about support, resilience and community.

There are examples of this every day that rarely get any publicity, so take this opportunity to learn what it means to be Australian. Maybe in the future you will pull your fuckin' heads in!

All safe so far

2009-02-09T10:07:00.005+11:00

I have finally got confirmation this morning that the family I know in the Kinglake region are safe and well. Their house is most likely destroyed but they did the smart thing and got out very early, more because the weather conditions posed an unacceptable risk rather than any specific fire threat.

They live on a small property that is mostly cleared with open paddocks, but outside their boundaries is forest so if they had stayed they would have stood very little chance. We have some other friends that live in a relatively defensible property about 500 metres west and the fires got very close them.

Pretty scary stuff. I hate to think what would have happened if the wind had stayed northerly as Mernda and Dorren, which are only two suburbs northeast of us, were put on alert. If they had gone up then the fire is in the suburbs. The sad thing is that while the wind change was good for some, it put others straight in the path of the fire. The only good wind change is a change to no wind at all.

I guess this is the price for living in Melbourne's green wedge and I am sure we will hear some sad stories from friends and neighbours over the coming weeks.

Finally home to a State on fire.

2009-02-07T23:13:00.002+11:00

Finally got out of Sydney at 6.40pm, not bad for a 4.15pm flight, got me home about 9pm.

Cool change has been through, so I completely missed the hottest day on record in melbourne. It was so hot we were able to watch a possum drink out of the dogs water bowl, the good Lady Naut wouldn't let me drown the bugger! I bet she regrets it when the little mongrel runs across the roof a 3am.

Coming home from the airport I was shocked to hear about the fires in Victoria. I could tell from the reports it was serious and the plume of smoke in the sky to the near north and east was confirmation.

Strangely my parents that live in the country an hour and a half north of Melb have no real fires around them, while places a 15-20 drive north of my place such as Kinglake, Whittlesea and Yarra Glen have been devastated and lives have been lost. I was actually mildly concerned about my place if the northly winds had continued particularly at the strength they were. Mind you if my place went up then the losses would already be in the thousands.

I know a couple of people that live in badly effected areas and am listening to local ABC radio trying and failing to imagine the devastation that is going on not too far away from here.

So a tip of the hat to all the emergency services folk (professional and volunteer) who have and will continue to perform unheralded heroic acts and best wishes to those that are and have been in the fires path.

Airport Blog

2009-02-07T17:17:00.003+11:00

My 4.15 flight is currently scheduled for 6.20 but I won't believe that until I see that the plane has actually landed here in Sydney.

The good news is that I spoke to my wife earlier and it was 44.5 degrees, so by the time I get home the cool change might have come through.

A bunch of ferals (copyright Havock)

2009-02-06T13:37:00.008+11:00

Well, as you can see from the above photo, dinner at the Butcher's Grill was a success. It was good to catch up with GuruBob, Bangar and Havock again and a pleasure to meet Chaz and Simon Bedak. Unfortunately I was the first to bail as I had a morning flight to Sydney to catch.

When I left my intention was to catch the train home, that intention lasted as long as it took for me to spot a Taxi (20 metres walk). If I knew I was going to get the worst Taxi driver in history, I probably would have stuck with the trains. My driver failed to recognise any of the 4 suburbs I named, drove all over the road and at one stage was doing 45km/h in an 80 zone. Aaagggghhhh!!!!

Managed to drag my sorry arse onto the plane in the morning. I feel sorry for the poor bastard next to me that had to put with the stench of red wine leaking from my pores. Thankfully I wasn't the pilot so we got to Sydney alive.

I thought the one benefit of working in Sydney on Saturday was I would miss the 43 degree day in Melb, unfortunately the temp in Sydney's West is going to be 43 degrees. To make matters worse we are going to have the power off in the office most of the day so there will be no fans or aircons.

Mr Bedak expressed some confusion as to what my profile pic is. As you can see from below, it is a portrait of me cunningly disguised as alcohol.

To demonstrate scale, here is it alongside my head.

Anyway, it's time for me to get back to work so that I am all ready for more work tomorrow morning.

Dropbears - Proof of existence

2009-02-05T10:50:00.004+11:00

To all of you living in overseas land that think Aussies lie about the existance of Dropbears, see following picture!

If you go out in the woods today, you're in for a small, furry and vicious surprise.

Installing google analytics

2009-02-04T09:01:00.003+11:00

Well we didn't win the Lotto and so I am still poor. Shame, I would make a great rich person. I really feel I have the class and taste to carry off comfortably rich well. I probably have too much taste to carry off stinking, filthy rich.

There have been a few people that have expressed an interest in loading google analytics on their blog. While google analytics won't actually tell you who has visited like JS used too, it will let you know that people are actually reading your stuff. There are simpler counters you could add, but I prefer the extensive drill down reporting of analytics.

I was going to write instructions on how to install it but the instructions at http://www.google.com/support/analytics/bin/answer.py?answer=66983&ctx=sibling are reasonably good.

Tip: To paste the tracking code into your blog you need to go to the layout/template screen and either Edit Html, Edit Source or just Source depending on which blog engine you are using.

If you get stuck, email me at naut023@gmail.com and I will give you a hand.

Winning Super 7s OzLotto numbers are.....

2009-02-03T15:49:00.003+11:00

Ok Chaz, Havock and GuruBob, I got us a Systems 9 entry for $39.25 for tonights draw at 7.45pm (I think).

The winning numbers will come from the following 9 numbers:

2 7 16 19 22 26 34 35 38

I won't say anything about luck, 'cause we don't need any.

Now should I buy my villa on the French Riviera or the Amalfi Coast?

Update Hard work equals reward

2009-02-03T10:10:00.005+11:00

Is anyone going to Chaz's dinner Thursday interested in a share in a ticket in tonights $30,000,000 Super 7 draw?

I figure we put in between $10 & $15 each, play 1 game and get the highest systems entry we can.

If there is enough interest I will update with a cut-off time to be part of it. Post cut-off I will buy the ticket over the net and post the numbers here.

*Update, Chaz and Havock are in so the cut-off time will be 3.30pm. If I haven't heard from you by then you will miss out. Guys if you have people's email addresses it may be worth emailing them.

Poll and good old fashion Melbourne hospitality

2009-02-02T10:21:00.004+11:00

Ok, I have added a poll in the top right corner on whether Lermie should be Face. Vote early and vote often!

In other news, I have been inspired by Paul Boylan's hospitality to Birmo while he is in San Francisco. Seeing was we are going to have our very own visitor later in the week, in the form of Chaz, I have secured a ticket to some quality entertainment for him.

No, not the tennis, it is finished. No, not the cricket at the 'G.

I have a free pass for 2 (half price after 10pm) to the Centerfold Lounge in Melbourne's most illustrious entertainment precinct, King St.

Just doing my bit for Melbourne!

Ps. Is it called hospitality because if you go out in King St there is a fair chance you will wind up in a hospital?

Vote 1 Lermontov for Face!

2009-02-01T19:59:00.003+11:00

Ok, Monday I will be creating an online petition for Lermontov to get the job as Face on the A Team movie. No I will not be asking his permission, I mean how could he NOT want that job????? Only problem is he is over qualified as he can aim a weapon, which if you remember the TV series, was not a requirement.

In other news, the wife and I are sending Jennicki all the positive thoughts we can.

It has been a pretty productive weekend for me, got the following done:

2 runs for a total of about 14kms in 30+ weather
painted some trim work that I had been meaning to do for a few weeks
chucked a couple of old couches and chairs on the nature strip for the council to pick up
did some shopping for the week
watched the animated clone wars movie

On the Clone Wars, why is it that the spin off cartoon movie is better than all 3 prequels?

Anyway back to watching robotic dinosaurus, I can't bring myself to watch the cricket.

*Edit: Ok, just flicked it onto the cricket and at least we are putting up a fight. MAYBE I can bring myself to watch some more.

Random thoughts that turned out to be not very entertaining

2009-01-30T09:39:00.005+11:00

Some random thoughts for the day:

43 is probably a bit much even for me
I should have brought 2 slabs of Boags Draught when it was 2 for $64Hmmm, maybe it's still 2 for $64, better check on boozle.com.auHave I even got the vaguest chance at the job I applied for last nightIf I did get it, will I be able to convince the missus I need to spend my payout on a dirtbike
What am I going to have for lunch today
Aaaggghhh batteries going flat on laptop and charger is in the boardroom with a meeting in progress
Is it cooling in the boardroom with the shit a/c or in my office with the crappy little portable a/c
When's the next big Tatts jackpot and I hope I remember to enter this time
People complain about the promised flying car never being invented, what about the paperless society we are supposed to live in
When am I going to get a good answer to the question of why there are no monkeys in australia
Mind you someone did reckon they saw a baboon on the road this morning
A real one they weren't just being offensive
Why don't I live near the beach
Not a victorian beach with antartic water, somewhere where the water is warm
People that reckon after a couple of days the water on victorian beaches warms up are kidding themselves
Hmmm, really need to win tatts
I reckon this was better as an idea than reality

The A Team

2009-01-29T09:26:00.004+11:00

Just saw this link on Lance Armstrong's Twitter site.

It is details of the executive team for an A Team movie.

This is of great concern to me, does anyone think Hollywood can make an A Team movie that will do the series justice?

Who would you get play each role?

B.A. - Samuel L Jackson in Wesley Snipes body. Actually it is probably going to have to be The Rock.
Face - Brad Pitt?
Hannibal - Clooney?

What really worries me is that with Ridley Scott involved he will drag Russell Crowe into it. I just can't see Crowe in any of the roles.

Damm, I am going to lose sleep worrying about this one.

Holy exploding rabbits!!! ** UPDATE

2009-01-28T16:48:00.003+11:00

This article is from our local paper.

To paraphrase for those that can't be bothered clicking on the link: the local shire council had a plan to eradicate rabbits along one of the local creeks by blowing them up.

They planned to use a machine that in simple terms, pumps gas into the burrows then ignites it. The rabbits are then theoretically killed by the shock wave.

The local CFA have gently suggested they should can the idea as flames and potential on-fire rabbits firing out of rabbit burrows is not a good idea during extreme heat and fire danger. It could have made a hell of a good NYE display though.

The best bit about the whole article is that the fire chief referenced Caddyshack, now that's a CFA I would be prepared to volunteer for*.

In other news it is 43.1 degrees (almost 110 F) here today, with the same or hotter expected tomorrow and Friday. I went to one of our other sites to enjoy their a/c only to get there and find it's broken. Bugger! Gonna be fun at footy training tonight.

* This is in no way me volunteering for anything.

Just for Lerm - no flying on-fire rabbit unfortunately

And the exploding whale

Now off to visit www.theexplodingwhale.com .

2009-01-28T12:49:00.003+11:00

I haven't updated much on Sophie lately, so here is the latest.

She is 6 months old which makes her corrected age a little over 3 months old. Weight is now over 7kgs and she is reasonably tall for her age. There don't seem to be any medical complications from her prematurity, except perhaps a temperamental stomach which happens a lot anyway without prematurity.

Developmentally she is a little behind physically, she needs to spend more time on her belly lifting her head. No stress there, it's no big deal as she will get there eventually. She started doing baby talk quite early and I often catch her and her Mum chatting to each other which has convinced me I am going to need some noise cancelling headphones by the time she is a teenager.

Sleepwise she struggles to sleep during the day, due to an upset stomach but will sleep from about 9pm to 7.00am most nights. So while she wears out Mum during the day, at least we get a full nights sleep to recover.

So all said and done, she is healthy, happy and progressing well.

Won't be long before I am training her to get Dad a beer and how to pour a decent scotch.

Some like it hot!

2009-01-27T11:05:00.002+11:00

Looking at google analytics, the average time spent by readers here is 2:31.

68.57% of you are using I.E., 28.57% using Firefox and 2.86% using Safari.

BigBadAl sent the most people (5) my way with Yankeedog coming in second (4).

Jennicki, Lermontov and moko all sent me a visitor.

Google sent me one visitor searching "the words begest fesh .com", I have a feeling that visitor was disappointed.

The Australia Day weekend was pretty quiet for me. Got in 2 runs which are my first since being sick and were far from impressive. Football pre-season starts Wed night, so it is going to hurt!

The weather is not going to help pre-season as the forecast is as follows:

Today - 38 degrees
Wed - 41 degrees
Thurs - 40 degrees
Fri - 40 degrees
Sat - 40 degrees

We live inland north of the city, too far away to get the sea breeze, so it will be a degree or two hotter.

To many this will seem like terrible weather. Personally I don't mind it, although 40+ is pushing it a bit. I do hate having to wear a suit in this weather though and it will get to 35+ in my office, so I think I will be doing lots of site visits this week.

Better 40 degrees than 4 I reckon!

Google Analytics

2009-01-23T14:08:00.001+11:00

I missed being able to she how many vistors I was getting.

So to satisfy my vanity and ego I have just added google analytics to my blog.

Now visit people, so my numbers go up and up!

Nothing much really

2009-01-23T08:02:00.002+11:00

I was going to write a post on Obama, but I really can't be bothered. I will make only one comment and that is that actions speak louder than words and true leaders lead by example.

There is plenty of time left in this presidency to see what kind of a leader Obama will be.

Long weekend here this weekend and I still have a touch of the flu so I will probably take it a bit easy. That said, I really need to get 3 runs in to restart my fitness program. It was supposed to start between xmas and nye but I got sick, then better, then sicker.

Footy pre-season starts next week, so I have to start doing something.

Nothing exciting, interesting or bizarre going on at the moment.

We need to get Minx back so I have someone to discuss Lance Armstrong's return with.

Dakar

2009-01-20T13:35:00.002+11:00

Well after a years hiatas, the Dakar rally has been run and won again.

This years Dakar was something different. The on-going troubles facing many countries in Africa that lead to last year's Dakar being cancelled, convinced the organisers to move the rally to Argentina and Chile. So this year we had a Dakar that didn't go anywhere near Dakar.

I was pretty concerned when I heard this. I loved the stones of Morocco and the dunes of Mauritania, this iconic landscape made the Dakar.

I couldn't see how South America could reproduce this. Isn't Argentina and Chile all mountains and farmland?

How wrong was I????????

This years Dakar contained farmland and spectacular mountains, but it also contained no trail cross country runs through desolate scrub, roads covered in fesh-fesh* like water, rocky trails and some of the biggest dunes I have ever seen! The route was truly epic.

So while not in Africa, this year's Dakar seemed to have all the elements expected that provide a real endurance racing slog.

I would love to have a go at it one day, but I would probably do the Australian Safari first as a warm up.

*Fesh-fesh is a powdery like dust. The worst fesh-fesh is like water, you drag your finger through it and it collapses back in on itself so your finger leaves no mark.

Sick!

2009-01-19T12:09:00.003+11:00

It finally happened. The boy who never gets sick, got sick!

I am not as bad as Birmo, but Birmo level would be the next stage.

I have had a couple of colds over the years, but I reckon it has been 8 years since I last had a sweaty, shaking flu like this one. I have that feeling like I have just played a hard game of footy on a 36 degree day.

I even took a couple of days off work!!!

Typical, I get sick just as the Dakar rally is coming to an end. At least I did have an excuse to watch the last couple of One Dayers.

Oh well. I am back at work today, so I better get back into it.

Voice2Text

2009-01-14T11:40:00.004+11:00

We are trialling Telstra's Voice2Text on our mobiles at the moment.

It great from when you are in a meeting and get voicemail that you want to subtly check.

The problem is that it has trouble translating some of the words. It regularly gets names wrong and has words that it can't decipher. Here's an example:

Hi, it's your wife. Can we get some big ___ on your way home cold ones. Thanks. Bye.

I wasn't sure what to make of this message, but it sounded exciting so I sped up as I dialed my message bank to listen to the message.

You can imagine my disappointment when I discovered she just wanted me to get a couple of large Slurpees on the way home:-(

*NOTE: I actually wrote this some time last week but didn't publish it for some reason. Must have been just as I was getting sick.

Anarchism

2009-01-13T16:19:00.002+11:00

As I am deep down an anarchist, here is my attempt to destroy global productivity during this time of financial turmoil -

check out http://stickcricket.foxsports.com.au

and for the Americans out there

http://stickbaseball.com

Now try and get a full days work done!!!

Russian Mafia Barber

2009-01-12T12:52:00.002+11:00

Ok, so I am posting here now, that ought to confuse you all.

Got my hair cut on the weekend. I had been trying to grow it long, but I just don't have the patience to stuff around with long hair.

Why would I want long hair, I hear you ask.

Well two reasons really.

1. I had long hair when I was 16 and it seemed ok at the time. Mind you I spent so much time at the beach back then that it was permanently salt encrusted which made it easier to manage.

2. Males on Dad's side of the family traditionally go bald young. My granddad was balding, my dad is balding and my brother is balding. I inherited my hair from Mum's side of the family and so have never even had a hint of balding. So by growing my long I would be rubbing it in to my dad and brother (granddad won't care as I find dead people seldom give a stuff what the living are doing).

The problem is that as hair is on top of my head and I can't see it, I can't really be bothered spending much time on it. So for me, short is the best option.

Sunday I dropped into the barber's in the local shopping centre. This is an actual barbers shop and not one of those chain hair cutting places like Just Cuts.

I keep going back to this place for one simple reason. Not because they do a great job and I am really happy with them, I get my hair cut that short it is kind of irrelevant. Not because all the staff are female with big jugs, too much risk of turning your head at the wrong moment and getting scissors in the eye.

I go there because they don't even attempt to make small talk. They just sit you down and cut your hair.

The guy I had on Sunday was a classic example of the staff at this barbers. He is a big guy, couple of inches taller than me and probably carrying an extra 10kgs. Cheap, faded, dodgy tatt poking out from under his short sleeves and a blank, unemotional look on his face.

The guy only spoke to me three times to ask; what I wanted, to clarify one point and then to ask if it was short enough.

He didn't even ask me to tilt my head forward. If he wanted me to tilt forward then he continually whacked me in the back of the head until I did. When he wanted my head back up, then he slapped me in the forehead until I lifted it back up. There was no gentle but insistent pressure, he just whacked me till I moved.

You may think this seems a bit strange, but actually it makes complete sense. You see most of the staff at the barbers speak in a thick Russian accent, so clearly the shop is a money laundering scheme for the Russian Mafia.

Suffice to say, they don't get many complaints.

Other Blog

2009-01-07T14:56:00.000+11:00

I have created this one just in case.

See my other blog at http://nautilis.wordpress.com