Monday, March 16, 2009

Dolph, he's no Warnie

During a short comment conversation with Lobes over at the burger, he brought up Dolph Lundren. Knowing Lobe's vast knowledge of most things and that he has been to Sweden, I thought I should do a little research at Dolph's IMDb page.

I was astounded!!!

Here is a short list of Dolph's more impressive achievements:

  • Master's degree in Chemical Engineering

  • Awarded Fulbright Scholarship to MIT

  • Third degree black belt in Kyokushinkai Karate

  • Has been both Australian and European Heavyweight Karate Champion

  • Was Grace Jones's bodyguard and lived with her for 4 years (scary)

  • Plays the drums (of course)

  • Speaks three languages and bits and pieces of at least two more

  • Served in the Swedish Marines

  • Was photographed at the Factory by Warhol

  • Worked as a bouncer in New York with Chazz Palminteri

  • Is responsible for the quote I use most often in my life. "My problem is that people get intimidated by someone big and beautiful like me. They hate to think I can be smart as well."
  • He looks like a gigantic blond knob

While he is no Warnie, he hasn't done too badly for a zombie!


  1. Oh gawd...I could never make it passed his name without snorting.

  2. I reckon his head could be snort inducing as well.

  3. If he hit the pies for a few years, he could possibly serve as 'the Greatest Living Australian's'chief bootlicker. That is all!

    He was great as Drago!

  4. Having him walk past a clearly marked CES (old Centrelink) office with an M60 in the 1980's "The Punisher" is still one of my favorite unintentional movie moments. Another was in 'Sniper' where the movie caption reads "Columbia" when the train clearly has the QR (Queensland Rail)logo on the side.

  5. Very clever he may be, but you have to admit, there isn't one single sign of life in those eyes.
    Maybe the inspiration for the term Himbo?

  6. DD well he's a blond isn't he?

  7. You forgot to mention that he fought against Rocky!

  8. Dolphs were Tony Martin's crappy film review scale on the Late Show, I seem to recall. "I give this film three Dolphs and a Rutger."

    He is, however, a monumental twunt who needs hitting with a length of pipe. In that photo he looks like Billy Idol's buff gay(er) twin.

    Chazz Palminteri was a bouncer? I'm guessing door bitch primarily, Dolph would have been the muscle.

  9. Chazfh: I have two blonde kids and I can speak from personal experience. Some blondes, my kids included, should have a stamp on their heads sometimes, saying 'LEGALLY STUPID' my own two blondes would happen to agree as well.

  10. 'the Greatest Living Australian'

    I see Lem has downgraded Warne. *snort*

  11. Bleedin' Eck! Who woulda thunk it of the Dolph!

    I almost have a newfound respect for the big wooden fella...

  12. You have no idea how effing smart this guy must be to have gotten a Fulbright scholarship to MIT (my own dad, a PhD in Astrophysics, would've said, "wow, he's pretty fucking smart").

    But he looks like such a tool.

    I must break you.

  13. Anyone who’s been in a film called ‘Fat Slags’ with the character name ‘Randy’ deserves some respect, or at least sympathy.

  14. Anyone who's ever had to live with Grace Johns has my respect, or at least sympathy.

  15. Lerm - Drago was great.

    Bart - I am going to have to search the $2 bins for those movies.

    DD - That's why he was sooooo good as a re-animated corpse in Universal Solider.

    Chaz - better blond than a bloodnut.

    Bangar - No, I had no idea

    Mr Stu - Didn't forget, just didn't mention it

    DrY - I was going to do another whole post about Rutger, but I not sure I can be bothered.

  16. Doanli - The Lord goes by many names.

    Mischief - Welcome aboard, I think ALMOST is the key word there.

    Steve - I have a pretty good idea how smart. The great thing about Dolph is that inspite of such an impressive list of achievements, he is still comes across as a gigantic knob!

    Simon - Now that film sounds like it could actually change my opinion of him.

    Steve - I actually thought that maybe that should be "survive" not live.

  17. Doanli - I don't think he would care if you aren't his type. I get the feeling that he is his type.

  18. He's probably the biggest knob on the planet. The biggest, smartest knob.

    Now....hear me out here...this is a million dollar idea. an anti-bear suit of armor. Roaming the Canadian wilderness.