Thursday, March 12, 2009

People are weird

You have all heard me spruik the ego boosting benefits of google analytics.

Well there is another benefit and that is the ability to see the keywords people have used in search engines to stumble across your blog.

So far I have had 13 referrals from google using the following keywords:

10 man ration pack

20,000 leagues saturday night live video

exploding rabbits - Proud of this one

female barber shaving heads - Strangely proud of this one too

is mernda safe to live in with fire threats

kryal castle ballarat food - Embarrassed to be associated in any way with Ballarat

mafia barber - Pretty proud of this one, but also slightly scared it may get me killed

marcus ambrose koala

marcus ambrose nascar earnings

mernda dorren

safe to live mernda

shane warne the musical - Should have been shane warne the god

the words begest fesh .com
- What the hell was this person looking for and were they disappointed?

I might have to take the tip from Paul Boylan back in the JS days and start mentioning Lesbian Pantomime horses.


  1. Marcus Ambrose koala? What the hell were they expecting him to be doing to it?

    Not a pretty mental picture. I know he's Tasmanian and all, but that's just messed up.

    Maybe it wasn't a real koala but someone in one of those dodgy Wilderness Society koala suits they used to collect donations in.

    Marcos Ambrose is a Furry. There's a rumour worth starting.

  2. Ok Doc, you are making me feel like a freak because I search exactly that to find video and images for .

    Marcus Ambrose is sponsored in Nascar by Little Debbie and they have a series of ad with him and a bad tempered koala.

  3. Oh, and consider the rumour offically started!

  4. Here's a few of mine. Frighteningly enough I remember the context of why these ended up at my blog.

    "arsehole bleaching".

    "church of shane warne". dude, people are actively seeking it out!.

    "17 ways to smack your boss".

    "batmans gay roommate".

    "anal land". Ok, anal LAND?...crikey.

    "does god hate gays". That's an excellent video on Youtube.

    "finance minister shitfaced". The Japanese one. Funny.

    "frenzal rhomb a man's not a camel blogspot". Huh?.

    "man fuck jumbuck". I recently discovered that that's what ewes call an ewe.

    Oh, it goes on and on.

  5. I don't have analytics on mine and I've disabled the 'appear in search engines' option. I don't think I'd want anyone to stumble across it!

    Disturbingly - I googled 'Shane Warne Greatest Human Being Ever' and there were only 15000 responses. What is wrong with the world!

  6. Maybe we should all try to use the most bizarre wordings we can just for the hits?
    Maybe not.

  7. I got church of shane warne too
    as well as
    moko top girl (seriously)
    pointless existence

  8. Moko - There seems to be a gay/anal theme going there.

    Lerm - It is deeply disturbing.

    DD - I thought I was already doing that.

    U - I think you are going to have to explain moko top girl.

  9. There's nothing wrong with Ballarat.

  10. Lerm, I may try to help that.

    Don't EVER say I don't love you Ozzies...

  11. I kept a collection of the best ones when I was Journalspace – I haven’t done so here yet. A few classics from JS:

    Alas, the beams were only 19 feet long each! There were no nails, screws, etc.
    Giant unwieldy breasts
    what dreams about small rodents mean
    paddling late teens on the bare bottom stories
    Which vegetable was used as a windscreen wiper in the early years of motoring?
    my sister gently massaged my penis to orgasm
    XXX sheep porn
    Meet "lonely and desperate women" in Canada
    murderers who ate their victims
    "fuck the pope" in Latin
    she invited me to her country cottage and then seduced me in my first lesbian sex experience
    pic of man scratching testicles
    masturbation stimulates moustache
    I am a man who likes to wear women's underwear
    phallus fungus Australia image
    photo of the world's fattest, ugliest and very obese women
    "Alan Rickman" "fine ass"

    I’ll spare you any more. I have to consider my reputation.

  12. "Giant unwieldy breasts" mighta been me, Simon.

  13. Abe - Oh yes there is!!!! Plenty wrong!

    Doanli - I saw your post, very good!!!

    Simon - That is truely impressive. Each line I read I thought "that is the funniest", but then it was topped by the next.

    Moko - Looking at your keywords, "paddling late teens on the bare bottom stories" or "Alan Rickman fine ass" seems likely to have been you

  14. I just remembered I have the stats thing going. I might check up and see how many referrals I got from "I hate frogs, especially green ones".

  15. Think when somebody tries to track you down they just have to put something obscure into Google and you will just appear to them, there is no hiding any more!