Tuesday, March 10, 2009

I have 12 blisters and a sunburnt arse crack

Last weekend was the Labour Day long weekend here in Victoria.

Rather than do what most sensible people were doing and spend the weekend in a beer garden somewhere, here is what I was doing.

That's right, I dug a hole!

Our house has had plumbing problems since the day we moved in. We have already had a section of broken sewer pipe replaced, but I am sick of smelling the contents of the toilet every time I use the bathroom sink. It can make brushing your teeth reasonably unpleasant.

After much discussion with our plumber friend, we have made the big decision to replace all our pipes and re-route the sewer pipe out from under part of the house slab. The quote from the plumber was scary, but it virtually halved when I said I would dig up all the sewer pipes. Hence the hole.

I knew where roughly where the sewer pipe was from where the plumber had dug up the section he had replaced last time. So I dug in line with his previous trench and as his trench was chest deep on him, I dug until my trench was chest deep on me. After approximately 8 hours of digging and chipping through rock hard dry clay, when widening the trench I finally found the pipe. The following is a picture of me pointing to the pipe.

So not only did I dig on the wrong line, I also dug about 3 feet too deep. BUGGER!

After about 13 hours digging, this is what I finished up with.

Now I just have to dig under the path, down the side of the house and then back under the path to the side of the house.

I already have 12 blisters and a sunburt arse crack, how do you reckon next weekend is going to go?


  1. Yeah, but think of all the beer you can buy with the money you save. I'm not going anywhere near the arse crack.

  2. Oh, man-that looks all too familiar from helping my brother with the addition to his place. Dug the trench for the foundation, electrics, and (yes) the sewer by hand. That is a nasty job! Around his place the 'dirt' is a combination of old coal clinker, sticky river clay, and rocks.

    Gotta be done-but I feel your pain.

  3. Therbs - that is a shitload of beer.

    YD - Yep it sucks and one of those small backhoes won't fit in through the gates.

  4. I saw your comment on Mr Stu's blog about digging a trench - and naturally assumed that you were digging down to stage IV with fighting bays and Overhead Protection. You know, for amrmageddon.

    Now, I see that you have only got down to stage III with no fighting bays! I expect at least one gun pit with both primary and alternate arcs staked and a few fire lanes cut out to one visual distance. Remember to use claymores to cover the dead ground and to locate your rifle or assault group pit where it can provide and be provided with mutual support.

    I hope you have your batman working on this whilst you pretend to be working on tonight's ambush orders!

  5. Lerm, due to operational security I could only show a portion of the defenses. My butler, opps I mean batman has recommended using the excavated dirt in sandbags as protection for a 50 cal on the carport roof. What are your thoughts?

  6. You will require most of the sandbags to construct the OHP. However, your batman has a sound idea - the increased range of your 50 cal will provide 'depth by fire' which is crucial as presumably there will be little physical depth in your position, due to the size of a normal suburban block. I look forward to seeing the finished result!

  7. Fuck that.

    I'm thinking raised parapets to combat the Zombie apocalypse.

    Re: Second photo. THAT close. lol. It's funny how potential bills can motivate.

  8. Unfortunately, again due to operation security, I will be unable to details of the completed security arrangements. However tours for vetted visitors can be arranged through my batman at http://frogofgreen.blogspot.com .

    Moko - Parapets may be involved, but I can neither confirm nor deny. A few choice words let out when I found the pipe. If I had hit the pipe straight up I could pretty much have finished the job last weekend.

  9. We take on these jobs thinking I will save and few dollars and then 30 minutes into it your thinking what on earth have I gotten myself into it. Couldn't you widen it a little and convert it into a pool now as well!

  10. That there hole looks good for about four bodies.

    You could make a couple of bob on the side to offset the cost of the job.

  11. Moko - a fighting bay has a parapet by default as it is dug in and bagged - you'll be safe from the zombies!

    Naut - Your batman has done a far better job with his camoflague and concealment than you. Perhaps further study in your own time is required. Remember - Shape, shine, shadow, silhouette, sudden movement, surface & spacings and you'll blend in. Your red raw butt crack(!) may require some IR retardant netting.

    LoL at BBAl!

  12. My sympathies I dug that many trenches as an apprentice that I was mistook for a plumber.

  13. Mr Stu, I like the way you think, but I like the way BBA thinks even better.

    Lerm - Isn't the purpose of a competent batman, that the Officer doesn't need to know anything.

    Bangar - Funnily enough our electrician at work has had his apprentices digging ditches to lay lighting cable all week.

  14. I'm lazy so i would have gone the mechanized way.
    what would a trench digger have cost for the weekend? a little dingo or something? And you would have been a hero at work for 2 days telling everybody about it - well thats what happens at my work.

  15. A Dingo wouldn't have done the job, it would take more of a backhoe type of machine and I couldn't get that in the backyard with ripping a fence down.

    The blisters would make me a hero at work if I actually felt like talking to anyone.

  16. Big Bad Al's previous work experience could've helped in getting that hole dug (and the sewer pipe removed) in about half a second. And all of the excavated dirt would've ended up in your neighbor's yard, so no removal issue.

    When I accomplish anything like that, I often walk around like Tom Hanks in "Cast Away," after he made fire.

  17. Steve - Dammit, my cousin is also a highly qualified explosives expert. Why didn't you mention it before I started digging!

    Doanli - :-)

  18. Speaking of explosives, years ago, my dad, brother and cousin decided to use dynamite to help them remove a tree stump from the yard. Now this stump was close but not that close to the septic tank, so they thort all would be fine. Except, Dad put in one lot of blow up fun, and Gavin(cousin) did the other. Gav's sticks of bang were on the loo side of the stump. mmm Somehow, the result wasnt what they anticipated, the stump flew into the air, and the septic tank disgorged its entire contents over the house, in thru the window of my prissy sisters bedroom, in fact its amazing how far poop can be flung with force. My brother lightened the entire debarcle by declaring that 'that shit is the one you did this morning Gav!!!" lol

  19. Did I mention to you, that I have a electric jackhammer with a spade bit, its wicked for digging, just thought I might mention it

  20. Naut, being a man, explosives (and the subsequent elimination of such a fool idea) should've been the first thing you considered. We might have to revoke your Man Card.

    And by "highly qualified," does that mean he's the one who buys all the fireworks on Australia Day?

  21. Redhead - I think I would like your family!

    H - Aaarrrgggghhhh!!!!!

    Steve - Yep, I was a fool, thinking about the manlyness of hard labour instead of the real manlyness of the lazy use of explosives. I will repent. "Highly qualified" means the government pays him to know all about and play with explosives.