- 43 is probably a bit much even for me
- I should have brought 2 slabs of Boags Draught when it was 2 for $64Hmmm, maybe it's still 2 for $64, better check on boozle.com.auHave I even got the vaguest chance at the job I applied for last nightIf I did get it, will I be able to convince the missus I need to spend my payout on a dirtbike
- What am I going to have for lunch today
- Aaaggghhh batteries going flat on laptop and charger is in the boardroom with a meeting in progress
- Is it cooling in the boardroom with the shit a/c or in my office with the crappy little portable a/c
- When's the next big Tatts jackpot and I hope I remember to enter this time
- People complain about the promised flying car never being invented, what about the paperless society we are supposed to live in
- When am I going to get a good answer to the question of why there are no monkeys in australia
- Mind you someone did reckon they saw a baboon on the road this morning
- A real one they weren't just being offensive
- Why don't I live near the beach
- Not a victorian beach with antartic water, somewhere where the water is warm
- People that reckon after a couple of days the water on victorian beaches warms up are kidding themselves
- Hmmm, really need to win tatts
- I reckon this was better as an idea than reality
And me, prepping for book launches.
5 hours ago
Definitely should've had beer on hand, this is beer weather.
ReplyDeleteMAKE, as the yanks would say. " Fucking A", gotta agree there ,whole bloody lot. Its turned to shits ville here. They have started the BLAME GAME and guess who will get MOST of the bullets and ALL the shit layed at his feet when he leaves. YEAH..FUCKERS. HEY, whats the Tatts numbers for sat night. I will split ya.
ReplyDeleteFirst things first, get the beer situation sorted out. That's most important.
ReplyDeleteMonkeys in Australia? Well, I have proof through my theory on hangovers. Don't wanna hear it? Too bad because here comes a hijacking.
You see when you finally pass out after a night of celebrations what happens is that these gorillas and other sub-human primates enter your room. They beat you around the head, torso and arms, piss in your mouth, empty your wallet, empty ashtrays in your mouth, make you run five miles in your sleep, cut your leg open ever so slightly, throw all of your clothes around the room (including the ones in your wardrobe), leave a couple of unused but unpacked condoms and a bra on the floor and sprinkle a couple of drops of perfume over your pillow cases and bed clothes.
When you wake up you feel totally exhausted and battered, have a killer headache, your mouth tastes and feels like a toilet in a cigar bar, you have no money, your room is a mess, your have inexplicable bruises and wounds, you have no money and you suspect that you brought home a girl but nothing eventuated. You can rate a hangover by the number of primates you believe visited you the night before. e.g. on New Years Day I reckon it was a whoop of gorillas, a troop of baboons and a mission of monkeys came to visit me the previous night.
Banger - Agreed
ReplyDeleteH - Fuck'em all! Tatts isn't a jackpot this Sat. OzLotto is $30 mill on Tuesday, might have to start a syndicate for those of us going Thursday night.
Therbs - I was hoping for a threadjack and I have to say your's is the most convincing response to the monkey question that I have had after many years of asking.
Naut good idea for the ozlotto syndicate!
ReplyDeleteNot to rub it in but we have nice warm beaches here, and less white pointers....
Yeah, might post something on that on the weekend and see who wants in.
ReplyDeleteMum's side of the family grew up in various parts of Perth. I still have a stack of relos over there. I keep telling my wife that we are moving back over there in the next 5 years.
That was an awesome threadjack! And I'm now convinced that the monkey problem is solved.
ReplyDeleteAnd if you've seen the way I drive my company car - then I could certainly disabuse you of the notion that flying cars haven't been invented!
43 - just plain wrong
Don't forget rental cars, they are practically rocket ships!
ReplyDeleteNothing handles like a rental car.
ReplyDeleteSurely when it's 43 degrees ambient, even Lake St Clair at Cradle Mountain is warm enough to swim in.
The Monkeys are too busy doing American Civil War Re-enactments to come to Australia.
ReplyDeleteAlright, you're going to have to excuse my American mindset and mental disability when I ask.. what is tatts?
ReplyDeleteDr - That reminds me of a story about nearly spinning a rental car at 120km/h at the Launceston turn-off. 43 degrees I would swim in Lake St Clair wearing a 7mm wetsuit. I hate the cold.
ReplyDeleteBBA - Interesting
Doll - Tatts is short for Tattslotto which is a big Lottery here. Sorry, Aussie habit that I can't use the full name for anything.
Why don't you live at the beach ? Because your not half as clever / cool as me - duh! (Google Map Mudjimba Island QLD) Water temp currently 28 degrees C. Whats a wetsuit?
ReplyDeleteTatts lotto - a mugs gamne, you've got a better chance of being hit by lightening. That said, one of my good mates parents picked up 20K+ just before christmass.
RE The Primates. The Wallace line.
Mr Wallace was a contemporary of Mr. Darwin. It has been sugested that he came up with the whole evolution thing before Mr. Darwin - only Darwin beat him to the publishers. Anyhoo.
Mr. Wallace noticed that a invisible line ran down between Indonesia & West Irian. To the left of the line you have bamboo & bears & tigers & elephants - placental mammals- The Asian Suite of animals. To the right of the line you have the Australian suite; cassowary, tree Kangaroos, Echidnas et al.
Doesn't really answer why - just lets you know that you wern't the first to ponder it.
Yes, but you live with humidity as well.
ReplyDeleteYou don't get any cash for being hit by lightening, so I will stick with tatts.
Hey, we are getting somewhere with the monkey thing and it is strangly comforting that the experts didn't really have an answer either. I heard a lecture on the radio the other day on Darwin that mentioned Wallace, all very interesting.